State of the Funyun Address. Madam Speaker, CEO Mr. Frito, Colonel Lay, members of the Committee, distinguished guests, and fellow citizens: Seven years have passed since I first stood before you at this rostrum. In that time, our company has been tested in ways none of us could have imagined. We faced hard decisions about … Continue reading
Jessica Alba Is An Idiot
Since we find ourselves beginning an election year I thought I would throw some ideas out that should but probably won’t, be discussed by the schmucks running for office. Regardless of what party, all candidates should be discussing these concepts. 1. Tort Reform. In order to eliminate frivolous lawsuits penalize plaintiffs for bringing fraudulent suits … Continue reading
From Scott Von Doviak’s “Vanishing Act” column at Nerve.com: “For instance, did you know that at one time, Cimino was actually hired to direct Footloose? Personally, I would like to see documentary footage of the meeting at which this decision was reached. I’d much rather see that than ever again sit through Desperate Hours or … Continue reading
First post at chud.com by John Rauch comic book artist
The Mets and Johan. I’m really disappointed in Major League Baseball and not just because a team I loathe got the best player available in the free agent and trade market. Johan Santana, the best pitcher in baseball. How on Earth do the shady New York Mets obtain the best pitcher in the sport without … Continue reading
Out at dinner last night, the conversation inevitably turned to horror movies. Most of my friends aren’t huge fans of the genre, but when you know someone who runs a horror website you generally end up getting steered (gently) towards talking about them. It’s one of the many fun things about being my friend. At … Continue reading
It’s snowing again today. I can honestly say this winter has pissed me off more than any other in recent memory. Maybe it is the fact that I was in the middle of shooting my latest film and the giant ice storm came and destroyed the park we were shooting in before we could finish … Continue reading
(This is a follow-up to this blog, where I let it be known that my 360 has succumbed to the red ring of death. I have gotten it to work sporadically, thankfully, as I’d have been pissed to not be able to sample Rez HD.) My UPS guy just came a knockin’. I open the … Continue reading
Welcome to the latest mind-blistering missive from my spent casing of a noggin, filled to the rim with shinola and burgeoning with backwash and partially chewed Red Vines.I’ve decided that the ‘Slap’ is going to be about life. Personal shit. Professional shit. Random shit. That way, the Steady Leaks I run on the main site … Continue reading