David Wagner

Integrity: The New Mandate (Apply Liberally)

Integrity is only expected if you are a baseball player, or a Republican. Recent revelations about baseball players and steroids have shed new light on the importance of integrity in baseball. Most notable of these players is Alex Rodriguez. I have been party to a number of conversations at Smokers Paradise that have ended with … Continue reading

Mental Masturbation: Money Shot

So I’m sitting at my Ikea table, working diligently on my Apple MacBook Pro, and as I glance at my Citizen Aqualand Eco-drive watch and notice that it’s time to start cooking dinner. I think tonight I’ll cook some Perdue Fit and Light Chicken Breasts in Ken’s Balsamic Vinagrette dressing with Publix organic vegetables. My … Continue reading

Mental Masturbation: Staring into…

Oblivion sounds ominous. Is it really something to be feared? Apparently it has terrified 90 some percent of us into attending some form of organized religion. I don’t worry about what happens when we die. I don’t really care. If Heaven or Hell is really the choice when we die, I already know where I’m … Continue reading

Mental Masturbation: My Aching Ass

I am actually paying someone to cause me great pain and suffering. I never thought of myself as a masochist, until now. I hired a personal trainer. I have always scoffed when I have heard of people hiring a personal trainer, but after my first couple of sessions I understand why. I’m certainly not incapable … Continue reading