Brandon Marcus

3 Reasons Why I Want to be The Pope

Man, The Pope. That guy goes hard, am I right? If you haven’t been paying attention, The Pope (aka Joseph Ratzinger, aka hard mo’fo) has gotten himself into a minor jam. Apparently, the pontiff let some pretty gnarly sex crimes slide back in the day and that is looked down upon in the Catholic church. … Continue reading

From Now On, I Will Ignore Reality

I want to give a big thanks to the “birther” movement.  I mean, honestly.  You guys are really helping me out a lot with your theory that President Obama was born in Kenya and, therefore, his entire presidency is null and void.  I’m being sincere, birthers.  Thanks for the solid.You see, throughout my entire life … Continue reading

Gimme Superman

There was a discussion on the CHUD boards about J.J. Abrams’ long-dead Superman script and all that could have been.  I remember the script was pretty silly, including a storyline with Lex Luthor revealing that he was Superman’s brother or something.  It was all a bit much.   Regardless, it didn’t get made and maybe that … Continue reading

4/20

Yeah, it’s finally here!  April 20th is back!  Bust out the pipes, boys.  It’s time to get hiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.Excuse my sarcasm but I wanted to remind everyone that tomorrow, April 20th, is something of a national holiday for marijuana enthusiasts.  I’m sure you all know that and probably know a few people who are quite excited … Continue reading

Wow, Glenn Beck is the worst.

I said the day would never come.  I told others that it was impossible.  There could never, ever be a person who I would find more annoying than Bill O’Reilly.But then, like some sort of perverse God listening in on my thoughts, the world provided me with Glenn Beck.  I honestly cannot stand Glenn Beck.  … Continue reading

Jon & Kate Plus 8

I can’t stop watching Jon & Kate Plus 8.  For those of you who haven’t seen the show, it’s a reality-based series following the lives of two parents (that would be Jon and Kate) and their eight — that’s right, EIGHT — children.I first tuned in because I thought it was going to be yet … Continue reading

I Know It Was You, Old Lady!

I hope you’re reading this.  I hope you’re reading this and you know what you’ve done.I’m finally over my cold.  It took me a couple long, dark days to do it but I’ve made my way back to a healthy state.  It was touch-and-go for awhile.  I had a few days of light sleep, followed … Continue reading

When I Die

I attended a funeral yesterday.  It’s never a fun experience, as I’m sure all you know.  It’s a time when families are united by their sadness and, I think, pride.  Proud of who they are as a family, proud of their closeness, of their past and their future.  But, above all else, they are incredibly, … Continue reading

Goodbye George W. Bush

What’ll I do when youAre far awayAnd I am blueWhat’ll I do…Dear George,And so it has come to be.  As you get ready to spend your final full morning in the White House I thought that I’d share some thoughts with you as our last precious hours dwindle.Eight years.  It’s been eight years since you … Continue reading