I said the day would never come. I told others that it was impossible. There could never, ever be a person who I would find more annoying than Bill O’Reilly.
But then, like some sort of perverse God listening in on my thoughts, the world provided me with Glenn Beck.
I honestly cannot stand Glenn Beck. I can’t look at him, I can’t listen to him and I can’t even think of him without feeling like I might gag. Great, I just did.
I wanted to write a post about Glenn Beck because I am sure there are many others out there (especially among the knowledgeable readers of CHUD) that feel the way I do. The thing about Glenn Beck is that there is SO much I dislike about him I don’t know where to start.
Is it his “neutral” stance on issues that I hate? That’s right, like O’Jerk-off and other conservative blowhards, he claims that he doesn’t have a bias or that maybe he’s just a little “libertarian”. Why even try and deny it Beck? You’re more conservative than Chris Cooper in American Beauty, just not as gay. I think.
Is it his views that get to me? How he is suddenly TERRIFIED for America’s future? He’s dead certain that America is becoming a socialist country and that all we worked for, all the money WE earned, is going to be spread around by Comrade Obama. He’s worried for America NOW? And about that of all things? What about the last eight years, Glenn? You weren’t the least bit concerned then?
Wow, his lack of knowledge makes me dizzy.
The thing I hate most about Beck, the thing that really gets under my usually-thick skin is his demeanor. Glenn Beck has a smug, certain tone when he speaks. He’s snarky, he’s sarcastic and — worst of all — he thinks he’s funny. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: conservatives aren’t funny. They might be fine people but they are definitely not funny. So don’t even try, conservatives. You’re only funny when you don’t try. Like Larry Craig, that guy was a riot.
Glenn Beck is dangerous too. He’s the type of host who tells his audience that the world is falling apart, America is in its final hours, a civil war is at hand. To his audience, he tells them it’s time to fight back, to take these corrupt (liberal) leaders down. And there’s a small, scared part of me that envisions some nutjob out in the sticks rounding up his guns and swearing to settle the score. All the while Beck is on the TV, grinning like the Ceshire Cat.
But the worst thing about Glenn Beck is that he’s popular. While on Headline News, I could stay away from Glenn Beck. I mean, anyone who airs after Nancy Grace is pretty easy to avoid. Yet, since his move to Fox News, Beck’s popularity has sky-rocketed. His show the most-watched one out there. That means he’s going to get louder and he’s going to get crazier. They always do. I fear Glenn Beck will be here for awhile.
Let’s just hope that he too likes to sexually harass producers. I can manage as long as Beck brings the funny.
Behind every great book adaptation is a forgettable first try. — By Ryan Covey