Movie News

We could simply cut and paste stories from Variety, but we don’t. We’re too amazing for that. We RETYPE articles from Variety…

THE RAVISHING OF MR. HANDS

Thanks to the internet I have seen a video of a man getting fucked to death by a horse. Now that’s an opening sentence. And it’s true*. The now infamous Mr. Hands incident – in which Kenneth Pinyan, known online as Mr. Hands, sustained lethal internal injuries while being fucked by a horse – has … Continue reading

UPDATED! AVATAR IS FOR REALS

With James Cameron’s pathological tendency to say “I’m going to do this” and then make wet documentaries for going on the past decade, I’ve taken the Indiana Jones stance on about everything he’s said: I’ll believe it when my ass is firmly parked in the theater seat. Incredulity aside, when you hear James Cameron talk … Continue reading

CHECK OUT MY LITTLE BEASTIE

Shannon Hall, my wonderful producer from the late, lamented (for the time being?) Filter on G4, sent along a link to an exclusive that the nerd channel is crowing about – they have the first look at the design of the monster from Outlander, the movie where an alien comes to Earth and beats the … Continue reading

OLD SPICY BRUCE CAMPBELL

Those of you who watch more TV than I do, or who watch it without the aid of a TiVo to skip the commercials, may have already seen this, but it’s news to me. Turns out that Bruce Campbell is the new spokesman for Old Spice, and he stars in a very funny – and … Continue reading

DISTRICT BESSON

When District B-13 was released in the US last August, the future based actionfest quickly came and went (a total theater bow of 151 and a little over $1 million in ticket sales didn’t help), despite the bone-chipping “Holy jumpin’ Frenchmen! Did you see that?” viral clip that probably made it into your inbox at … Continue reading

EXCLUSIVE: PAGING TOMMY JARVIS?

This weekend was the junket for The Hitcher, the latest remake from Platinum Dunes. At the junket press conference producers Andrew Form and Bradley Fuller confirmed that they were moving ahead with their remake of Friday the 13th at some point in 2008. But when I talked to them in an exclusive interview – which … Continue reading

“I WANT TO DIE”

The last few years have seen many of my dreams come true, but one that remains tantalizingly out of reach is still getting killed in a movie. Growing up on horror films, I came to believe that the better the killing, the better the role, and I have long harbored the desire to get disemboweled … Continue reading