to the internet I have seen a video of a man getting fucked to death by a horse.

Now that’s an opening sentence. And it’s true*. The now infamous Mr. Hands incident – in which Kenneth Pinyan, known online as Mr. Hands, sustained lethal internal injuries while being fucked by a horse – has become a documentary, and THINKFilm, maybe the ballsiest distributor out there, has picked it up… after only seeing a couple of minutes of footage!

Getting fucked by horses was Pinyan’s “thing,” and he would meet with friends in fields to take turns having stallions mounting them and videotaping the activities. One night a horse by the unfortunate name of Bullseye went a little too deep and ripped Pinyan open on the inside. As a result, Washington finally passed a law making it illegal to fuck animals. It’s like closing the barn door after the livestock have anally violated the household. Or something. I just can’t believe it was legal to fuck animals in Washington state until quite recently.

The doc, directed by Robinson Devor, is called Zoo, and it’s playing Sundance. Programmer John Cooper is quoted on The Documentary Blog saying: “Robinson Devor’s filmmaking is as smart as it is eloquent. To begin with, Zoo is neither graphic nor exploitive. Most of it takes the form of recreations, but from the point of view of the men ‘who met for years without disturbance in the shadows of Mt. Rainier,’ as Devor puts it. The cinematic language invented for the film permits us to examine where we draw the line, how much perversity we can tolerate in others. In a broader sense, Zoo is really about thresholds. What can we stand to know, and, more importantly, what can we stand to accept?”

We can apparently not accept two and a half feet of horse dick into our rectums. This is now known as Pinyan’s Law.

I would actually like to believe that Zoo is going to be a serious and excellent film, but the subject is just so bizarre that it seems like it’s going to have an uphill battle winning over audiences. But if it gets put in theaters, it might not have an uphill battle getting people to come see it. THINKFilm has shown their fearlessness lately by releasing the sexually explicit Shortbus, and they released a movie with the title of Fuck. Nothing will stop these guys, and I know some of the folks over there and can tell you that they are genuine and fun film lovers.

I will not be making it to Sundance this year, but if you are there and catch a screening of Zoo – report back to me!

* I have learned that the mrhands.mpg that made the rounds (and which contributed the heavily censored picture here) wasn’t actually of Pinyan and Bullseye, but rather another encounter. Considering that it looks like Pinyan is getting completely demolished in mrhands.mpg and that was a coupling that went RIGHT, I don’t know if I would want to see the actual footage.