Well, I watched the Oscars all the way through for the first time in many, many years. Why? So I could bring you this column. You read Nick’s transcript and here is my look at the winners and losers. We start with the opening monologue with Jon Stewart and it was pretty damn good. … Continue reading
I understand people who are on crack more than I understand people who smoke cigars. The path that leads to crack is one that makes sense – it starts with softer drugs that are accepted in your social circle and so you feel pressured to try them. You keep stepping it up and then one … Continue reading
Dear Internet, I want a Sistine Chapel/Marty McFly-Chuck Berry Shirt, and I want it right fucking now. Thanks,Andre Dellamorte
Thank You, Jeremy Davies! I want to extend a hearty “Thank You” to actor Jeremy Davies for all of the work he has done in trying to make films and television shows I’m enjoying damn near unbearable. I glossed over the fact the skittish, somewhat one-note actor was joining the cast of Lost only to … Continue reading
1. Whenever the host (Jon Stewart) has a joke fall flat, you must take a sip. This will happen more often than you think. 2. Whenever Jack Nicholson appears, you must take a sip. If he’s grinning, take a big gulp. 3. Whenever a song, special segment, clip montage, thank you speech, or anything else … Continue reading
Do you ever have people tell you what it is you “need?” For instance, you are out with your friends and one of them says “you just need some time” or “you need to find a way to make it work”. I unfortunately find myself in one of those times where I hear that from … Continue reading
3.4.08 ad I have been looking forward to the 4th of March for an unhealthy amount of time. It’s a holiday for me. A day in which the other 364 will be judged against. As opposed to some holidays with religious, political, or romantic connotations, March 4th is much deeper. It’s the day I jack … Continue reading
For some reason Robert Zemeckis got stuck in my nogging, and so I went on a kick and bought the Back to the Future set and Romancing the Stone. Stone is a fine – albeit formulaic – adventure film that seems shockingly anachronistic, even if Fool’s Gold is essentially trying to make the same film. … Continue reading
By Leviathan, I mean this- Reference. And I’m not talking about the film. I saw Him in real life, in all His pure, unpainted, pointy glory. He was in a deli. I attempted to have a conversation with the human being that He was attached to but Leviathan kept drawing away my attention. Then, to … Continue reading
Make sure your potassium intake is appropriate, people. Once every couple of years I’ll get one of those things where your leg muscles lock up and to move it even a little is Max Mad Beyond Excruciating. It’s not a Charlie Horse as often misdiagnosed but an ailment that comes out of a lack of … Continue reading