By Leviathan, I mean this-



And I’m not talking about the film. I saw Him in real life, in all His pure, unpainted, pointy glory. He was in a deli. I attempted to have a conversation with the human being that He was attached to but Leviathan kept drawing away my attention.

Then, to my surprise, He began to speak. With no mouth, He spoke! Words that seemingly came from everywhere at once bellowed:

“Go forth, and spread this message. I exist, everywhere. Do not attempt to paint Me over, as you will just strengthen My resolve. You can not escape me. And there is nowhere I am not watching.”

I ran, screaming, for my life. Once I had run for a good half hour, I dared look back to make sure He was left behind for good. With no sign of Him, I collapsed onto the floor and tried to gain my breath back. From that moment forward, I vowed to never again take Leviathan lightly. Someone must notify Val Kilmer immediately.

But seriously, I saw a guy with a fuckin’ elbow that looked just like that.