Movie News

We could simply cut and paste stories from Variety, but we don’t. We’re too amazing for that. We RETYPE articles from Variety…

ALICIA WITT HEARTS AL PACINO

I’ve previously made assertions that the Spider-Man movies’ albatross (in regards to quality, not financial success, obviously) could’ve been prevented with the simple casting of pouty-lipped firetop Alicia Witt as Mary-Jane Watson (or, considering Dunst’s “transformation” consisted of red coloring and hair extensions, Jessica Biel).  But alas, we’ll have to accept Peter Parker’s lifelong fixation … Continue reading

ROMCOM, BRITISH STYLE

Gwyneth Paltrow so desperately wants to be British that her desire has infected family members, particularly kid brother Jake. But nepotism has its advantages, and now Jake gets to graduate from television to feature directing with The Good Night, a romantic comedy he wrote himself.  The movie stars Martin Freeman (The Office, Hitchhiker’s Guide to … Continue reading

YET ANOTHER POETRY ADAPTATION?

Hollywood, fully embracing its creative bankruptcy, has yet again turned to an epic poem to be the inspiration for a movie. The poem is Paradise Lost, which is one of those literary works that everyone knows enough to pretentiously reference but hasn’t actually read. It’s the story of Lucifer’s fall from heaven and his subsequent … Continue reading

GET BABE

Even with the timely death of Don Adams, the Get Smart movie is moving ahead. Steve Carell was recently on some talk radio show and spent a little time bullshitting about it, saying that they’re looking into casting Agent 99, the female sidekick from the series, right now. The new film will have a much … Continue reading

CLAYMATION TRAGEDY

A massive fire swept through Aardman Animation’s warehouse this weekend, destroying everything. "Today was supposed to be a day of celebration, with the news that ‘Wallace and Gromit’ had gone in at No. 1 at the U.S. box office, but instead our whole history has been wiped out," Aardman spokesman Arthur Sheriff said. "It’s turned … Continue reading

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE REPORT

Rank Title WeekendGross CumulativeGross Weeks in Release 1 Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit $16,100,000 $16,100,000 1 2 Flightplan $10,700,000 $60,900,000 3 3 In Her Shoes $10,000,000 $10,000,000 1 4 Two for the Money $8,300,000 $8,300,000 1 5 The Gospel $8,000,000 $8,000,000 1 6 Corpse Bride $6,500,000 $42,100,000 4 7 Waiting $5,700,000 $5,700,000 1 … Continue reading

LEFT TURN: ISSUE ONE

Here’s some news I like to share. Left Turn, a crime comic book I’ve created with Simon Wright, will be published by Speakeasy Comics in the coming months. The first arc, Cone of Violence, sets the stage for the story but is only the beginning as I already have a good idea what the first … Continue reading

OUT OF GAS

It’s been interesting, this past week, to watch the Browncoats go through all the stages of grieving as laid out by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. First there was denial, where they claimed that, hey, ten million dollars and coming in second to a shitty movie that had already been released the week before was OK. Next came … Continue reading

KING. KONG. QUAD.

Just the other day we brought you that beautiful high res image of King Kong sitting on the Empire State Building with Ann Darrow in hand, the sun setting over the Hudson River. It was a really wonderful moment of the calm before the storm, and there was some confusion that it was the teaser … Continue reading