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The motion picture studios send us vermillions of DVD releases for the purpose of review. More titles than you can shake a stick at, unless you have a lot of time and a particularly sturdy stick. Unlike most sites [and weirdly a source of nitpicking from some detractors who we’ve discovered are dumb and lonely asexual prick assholes], we review everything we’re sent. Even the gay vampire program Lair (from the makers of Dante’s Cove). We have a wide array of reviewers, all with functioning nervous systems and all ready to entertain YOU with their puns and prose. You. Are. Welcome.

DVD REVIEW: LIVE FREE OR DIE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO:  Velocity/ThinkfilmMSRP: $27.98RATED:  RRUNNING TIME:  92 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Alternate Ending• The Making of LIVE FREE OR DIE• Filmmaker & Cast Commentary featuring Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin and Aaron Stanford & Paul Schneider• Blooper Reel• Theatrical Trailer• Deleted Scenes The Pitch It’s Bottle Rockety, but it also examines the small … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: FOREST OF THE DEAD

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: EliteMSRP: $14.98RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 79 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Feature Commentary w/ director and cast• Behind-the-scenes featurettes• Outtakes• Bonus short film from dir. Brian Singleton The Pitch “What I did on my summer vacation . . .” The Humans Mark Singleton, Chris Anderson, Erin Brophy, Brandi Boulet, Elaine Cummings, Richard Glasgow, … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: INLAND EMPIRE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: RhinoMSRP: $19.99RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 179 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:More Things That HappenedLynch 2BallerinaQuinoaStoriesTrailersStills The Humans Laura Dern; Justin Theraux; Harry Dean Stanton; Jeremy Irons; William H. Macy; Diane Ladd; Peter J. Lucas; Karolina Gruszka; Grace Zabriske The Nutshell Actress Nikki Grace (Laura Dern) is waiting to get a big part in … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: ULTIMATE UNDERDOG COLLECTION VOLUME 1, THE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO:  Classic MediaMSRP: $12.95RATED:  UNRATEDRUNNING TIME:  120 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Interview with Underdog’s Co-Creator• The Underdog Show’s Family of Characters The Pitch Get a little taste of Underdog just in time for the CG-laden movie adaptation to sap your spirit to live. The Humans Underdog, Polly Purebred, Simon Sinister, giant fucking … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: DANE COOK – THE LOST PILOTS

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO:  Sony PicturesMSRP: $14.94RATED:  NOT RATEDRUNNING TIME:  56 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Dane’s Antics and Ad Libs• Deleted Scenes• Gag Reels The Pitch “Stand bravely in the path of the Dane Train like the infamous Tiananmen Square protestor and let its comedy run you aground.” The Humans Dane Cook, Justine Bateman, other … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: ROVING MARS

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO:  Buena Vista Home EntertainmentMSRP: $29.99RATED:  GRUNNING TIME:  40 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Bonus movie: Mars and Beyond, Walt Disney’s 1957 investigation into the mysteries of the universe and space travel • Mars: Past, Present and Future: Personal reflections on Mars from the filmmakers, JPL Rover team members, and students from the … Continue reading

THE SPECIAL EDITION – 08.13.07

NEW RELEASES WILD HOGSd. Walt Beckerc. John Travolta, Tim Allen, William H. Macy, Martin Lawrence It seems like yesterday that John Travolta had his career revival with Pulp Fiction and he was on top of the world. He proved with that movie how, even after all the years, he was still the king of cool. … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: SPOOKED

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Bill ZebubMSRP: $16.95RATED: Not ratedRUNNING TIME: 87 minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: • Outtakes• Skits The Pitch Niggers, fags, spics, blackface, jailbait dancing in lingerie. Repeat. The Humans White people only, apparently. The Nutshell See The Pitch. The Lowdown I’m at a loss for words on this one. Truly. Check out … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: SURF SCHOOL

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: LionsgateMSRP: $26.98RATED:  UNRATEDRUNNING TIME:  87 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Trailers• A general disregard for cinematic form or emotional well-being of audience The Pitch “Ever wonder what it’s like to be sodomized by giant dick-shaped knives?” The Humans Corey “Mark Paul Gosselaar lookalike winner three years in a row” Sevier, Laura Bell “After … Continue reading