This week marks three years since I first threw up a stream of semi-consciousness on a DVD for CHUD; and appropriately enough, this particular stream marks #200 for yours truly. So when one reaches such a milestone, how does one celebrate?

Simple: with a four-way.

1BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Buena Vista Home Entertainment / Touchstone
MSRP: $23.99
RATED: Not rated
RUNNING TIME: 601 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES: None

The Pitch

A comedy great’s last hurrah.

The Humans

John Ritter, Katey Sagal, Kaley Cuoco, Amy Davidson, Martin Spanjers.


"You wanna know Rule #9 Katey? I’ll give you a hint: it involves you in a Swedish Maid outfit…"

The Nutshell

John Ritter (in his last major TV role) plays Paul Hennessy, a father of three who has two dating-age daughters that he has a few rules for for dating. Toss in a weirdo son that and his wife (Katey Sagal), and the makings for a fairly ordinary sitcom abound.

The Lowdown

There were few celebrity deaths that truly hit me like a kick to the beans. John Ritter was one of those. I think any of us would be hard pressed to find a more gifted physical comedian in the last 30 years of TV than Ritter, who was the cornerstone of the “how-the-hell-did-they-keep-that-one-note-premise-going-for-seven- years” sitcom Three’s Company, a show that I grew up enjoying. I’ve always liked Ritter’s work, even during those stretches when he couldn’t find an adequate vehicle for his talents. But here’s a guy that managed to survive in TV for the better part of four decades and anybody that can pull that off in this day and age deserves respect.


"Now now, Bridget, don’t worry about that boy who broke your heart, I’m sure you’ll find someone else soon…like me for instance…"

Ritter’s work on Three’s Company is well documented, but he was working well before that seven-year run in a gallery of 1970s TV shows such a The Waltons, Kojak, M*A*S*H*, The Bob Newhart Show, Barnaby Jones, Mannix, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda and Starsky and Hutch, frequently in guest appearances. I remember a couple of movies that he appeared in in 1979 and 1980: Americathon, where the country has to hold a national telethon in order to keep it from being repossessed by the Indians. And in Hero At Large, Ritter showed how hard it would be to become a superhero when you’re a cabbie rather than a trust fund goody ala Batman. And when Three’s Company and its one season spinoff, Three’s A Crowd were over in the mid-80s, Ritter segued to more guest work until the Bochco dramedy Hooperman came along, a show which I remember watching and liking.

In addition to these, Ritter was never above taking smaller roles to keep working, and he had notable turns in both TV and film, including Scrubs, Batman Beyond and Chicago Hope. And who could forget his creepy turn the Buffy episode, “Ted”, as the titular homicidal robot? Memorable turns with Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade and Bad Santa were just the icing on the cake of a rather impressive career.


"Hey, Dad, isn’t that Joyce DeWitt over there?"
"Quiet! She might hear you and come over here…"

That career was rounded out by his role as Paul Hennessy on 8 Simple Rules…For Dating My Teenage Daughter. Admittedly, this wasn’t any stretch of Ritter’s talents, playing a sitcom dad who has to deal with having a hot daughter (Kaley Cuoco) who’s proving to be a handful when she starts dating, another daughter in the dating bullpen (Amy Davidson), and an obnoxious son (Martin Spanjers). But, along with Katey Sagal (looking pretty damn good here), he was back in his element in a show that was doing reasonably well and was considered somewhat of a career comeback for Ritter.

Upon inspection, 8 Simple Rules wasn’t any groundbreaking concept sitcom-wise, but let’s be honest, what is these days? Ritter as Hennessy was a house-husband sportswriter and Sagal was his wife who decided to re-enter the workforce. While trying to raise his kids, Hennessy frequently found himself in sitcomesque dilemmas, such as warding off unsuitable suitors for his daughter, Bridget, trying to keep his middle daughter happy when she would freak out about boys or animals (that was her schtick) and a weirdo son who liked to hide in his sisters’ closet. Season 1 episodes included “Wall of Shame”, where Paul is trying to watch his beloved Wolverines battle Ohio State when Bridget is busted for shoplifting. “Son-In-Law” found Paul letting Bridget do whatever she wanted when she started dating the basketball player son of one of Paul’s sports heroes (Terry Bradshaw). And “Come And Knock On Our Door” revisits Three’s Company, down to the set itself, as Paul has a dream that he’s a bachelor living with two daughters. And the season finale, “Sort of an Officer and a Gentleman” has Cybill Shepherd guest starring as Cate’s sister, Maggie, with whom Cate has a long history of sibling rivalry.


"Geez, Dad, what is this shit? Three’s a Crowd? What a steaming pile."
"Go to your room…but first give me that baseball bat over there…"

Ritter and company returned for Season 2, but of course Ritter had the tragic aortic dissection on set that ultimately took his life early in the show’s run that year. Afterwards, production shut down on the show and Paul’s death was written into the storyline once it resumed. Both James Garner and David Spade were brought in as relatives in a last ditch effort to save the show, which limped on for two more seasons until being cancelled. I didn’t watch this show, and I consider it pretty average at best, but I’m somewhat glad that if Ritter had to leave us, he was able to go out on the career high note that this show became for him.

2BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Lionsgate
MSRP: $14.98
RATED:Not rated
RUNNING TIME: 126 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES: None

The Pitch

Although he’s got too much time on his hands, at least Mr. T
ain’t vegging on a couch somewhere…although that might be advisable.


Unfortunately, Mr. T’s first post-A-Team project, an exercise video titled "Drop and Give Me 20 Or I’ll Beat Your Punk Asses, Bitches" didn’t go over too well…"

The Humans

Mr. T, a bunch of people who don’t watch Dr. Phil.

The Nutshell

Mr. T is a traveling motivational speaker out to improve people’s lives by scaring them to death.


"No, no, no…let’s go over it again: Face, you shoot at all the guys on the left and miss them by a mile, Murdock, you shoot all the guys on the right and not hit a single thing, and Hannibal, you stand by with the grenade launcher and prepare to not to hit the broadside of that barn over yonder…"

The Lowdown

Another TV personality that I grew up watching, Mr. T, is back after both career and life struggles (battling cancer for one), and he takes a break from 1-800-Collect commercials long enough to do this series about becoming a badass self-help guru who seeks to help ordinary people in real-life situations improve their lives. Having gained fame for his turns as the greatest villain in the Rocky series, Clubber Lang, and the ass-kicking, gadget making and no-target-hitting mercenary B.A Baracus in the ‘80s most stupidly fun actioner A-Team, as well as being Hulk Hogan’s tag team partner for Wrestlmania 1, ole T. hasn’t exactly been setting the world on fire career wise. But back in the day, I would watch damn near anything he was in, including his ‘80s gymnastics cartoon with the catchy theme song. You have an outspoken, muscle-bound brother with a Mohawk and enough gold to feed Eastern Africa for a year, what’s not to love?


"Hello, Mr. Johnson? How are you today sir? This is Mr. T and I’d like to take a minute of your time to interest you in a subscription to…"

Since the ‘80s came and went however, Mr. T has been searching for that career boost and struggling to not end up on the next season of The Surreal Life. That supposed career boost is in the form of I Pity The Fool, where Mr. T puts his never-say-die life motto to use to kick people’s asses into improving their lives, their job situations and the like. This first (and possibly only) season contained six episodes and every episode has a theme: Motivation, Unity, Leadership, Trust, Respect, Communication. In each episode, Mr. T has to deal with people who are stuck in ruts, or confrontational or down on themselves, and he has to being a little “T-factor” to their lives (i.e. get them off their asses or set them straight) and he usually makes his entrance by jogging to his next destination in his red Six Million Dollar Man-style jumpsuit.


"Okay, so we’re all clear now, right? When John Cena comes down to the ring, you all attack him with chairs and I’ll…"

Among the people he helps are a car sales manager who needs to motivate his sales staff, as well as get his boss and father-in-law to cut him some slack on the job. Mr. T also deals with a dance studio owner/instructor who frequently clashes with the mothers of her students and refuses help or criticism from anyone. This is all pretty much Dr. Phil kind of stuff, only nowhere near as condescending and unwatchable.

3BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Walt Disney Video
MSRP: $34.99
RATED: Not rated
RUNNING TIME: 612 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES: None

The Pitch

It’s what Batman would be if he were a duck with an ego complex.

The Humans

Drake Mallard / Darkwing Duck, Launchpad McQuack, Gosalyn, Herb Muddlefoot, NegaDuck, Megavolt.


A scene from "The Tribute To Tex Avery on Crack" episode…

The Nutshell

Darkwing Duck is the terror that flaps in the night, he’s the…ah hell, you know the rest.

The Lowdown

Back in the day, I was watching a fun little cartoon that I was probably a little too old for at the time: DuckTales. Although it was probably made for kids half my age back then, I found the show to be fairly entertaining and caught it on a regular basis. DuckTales then featured a spinoff about a bumbling, Batman-influenced superhero quacker named Darkwing Duck. Darkwing Duck was really Drake Mallard, mild mannered adoptive father of his young charge, Gosalyn, who is also privy to his secret identity. Only she and Darkwing’s sidekick, Launchpad McQuack, know who Darkwing Duck really is and Launchpad is the direct link to DuckTales as he was a regular cast member, although his personality was slightly changed for his transition to this show.


As a part-time gig, night watchman at Scrooge McDuck’s cash vault wasn’t a half bad side job for Darkwing…

Darkwing Duck is an amiable enough cartoon, featuring the title character bumble his way through his many adventures, but still manage to save the day thanks to his friends and gadgets, which included his gas gun, the Thunderquack, a jet shaped like his head, and the Ratcatcher, a motorcycle with a sidecar for Launchpad. Like Batman, Darkwing considered himself an agent of the night’s justice and played up the dark avenger bit every chance he got, as evidenced by his typical catchphrase: “I am the terror that flaps in the night, I am the___ that ___s your ___, I am DARKWING DUCK!” Also like Batman, Darkwing had a rogues gallery of villains including, NegaDuck, an evil version of himself; Megavolt, an electro-like villain with an AC plug on his head; Quackerjack, a mean, toy-obsessed jester, and The Liquidator, a dog who patterns his phrases after advertising slogans. Darkwing also has an occasional sidekick, Honker Muddlefoot, who is a nerd and Gosalyn’s best friend…as well as an obvious rip-off of Warner Bros.’ Egghead, Jr. Still not sure how Disney got away with that one.


It wasn’t the fact that Launchpad and Herb walked in on Darkwing and Daisy Duck doing the dirty that shocked them so much, it was the fact that they were including Huey, Dewey and Louie in the action that was just a little…off…

Anyway, Darkwing seemed to skew just a bit younger than DuckTales, or maybe it’s that I’m really looking at it for the first time as a thirtysomething and I realize that I’m way too old to be watching stuff like this. Some of the episodes of this second volume include “All‘s Fahrenheit in Love and War”, where Darkwing and Launchpad have to solve the mystery of how banks are being robbed of all their gold in the dead of winter and how Isis Vander Chill, a Mr. Freeze-like villainess fits into the picture. And “Ghoul of My Dreams” has Darkwing battling both Morgana MacCawber, and Nodoff, the ruler of Nightmareland who is planning an evil scheme involving putting the entire city of St. Canard to sleep and stealing its riches. “Up, Up and Awry” has Darkwing dealing with depression after Gizmoduck arrives in town and steals his limelight by capturing Megavolt.


"In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night, No evil shall…huh? What the fuck do you mean that one’s already taken??!!"

Darkwing Duck ran from 1991 to 1995, and although it didn’t posses the extremely biting, sarcastic humor of contemporaries like Animaniacs, Freakazoid nor Pinky and the Brain, it was enjoyable entertainment for the rugrat crowd and could even provide a few laughs to the not-so-rugrat crowd.

4BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Buena Vista Home Entertainment / Touchstone
MSRP: $23.99
RATED: Not rated
RUNNING TIME: 554 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
• Bloopers

The Pitch

Season 7 of playing with tools.

The Humans

Tim Allen, Patricia Richardson, Richard karn, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Zachery Ty Brian, Taran Noah Smith, Earl Hindman, Debbe Dunning.


"Didn’t I tell you this would be fun, Tim?"
"Yeah it is, but not half as fun as dropping off those three bratty little shits of hours back there with those cement Air Jordans…"

The Nutshell

Tim Taylor (Allen) is a father of three boys and as immature as any of them as he’s also the host of a cable access home improvement show who likes to play with things he probably shouldn’t tool-wise. As his long-suffering wife, Jill (Richardson) tries to keep a handle on things, Taylor finds a new way each week to blow something up or screw something up while also being a role model for his sons.


"Alright, now remember, when Wilson comes over for dinner and tries to pull that half-face shit, you boys hold him down while I beat him senseless with my Craftsman ball peen hammer and Jill films it for YouTube…"

The Lowdown

Okay, this is the fifth time I’ve covered this friggin’ show, which I believe is a personal record for me. If I could, I’d tell you to just check out any of my previous reviews here: Season 1, Season 3, Season 4 and Season 6 and call it a day as this review is already frying my brain. But of course that’s not the way we do things here, and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to go the distance in my four-way. So upon all the things that I’ve already blathered on about in four reviews for Home Improvement, let me say that in Season 7, the show continued to hold up well and all of the things that made the show fun: Allen’s rapport with Richardson and Karn, and the crazy Tool Time projects of the week, such as a rocket-powered grill continued to provide the laughs (albeit canned) for the show. And the stuff I could have done without, namely the life lessons taught to the three boys, were still aplenty, although as the boys aged, the subjects, mostly involving dating, took center stage.


"…and today on Tool Time, we’re going to see just how well Bob Vila can build a table with his ass on fire…"

Season 7 started off with the episode, “Quest For Fire”, where Tim is going through a mid-life crisis as his boys are growing up and Jill is pursuing her Masters. Tim feels as though his life is standing still and he contemplates buying a lodge in a camping area and moving the family there to start anew. Plus he creates the aforementioned rocket grill on Tool Time. In the Halloween episode, “A Night To Dismember”, Jill and Tim have to deal with Mark making a horror video for his class and the finished product being a little more disturbing than usual as it shows him portraying a fictional character who kills Tim and Jill’s characters. “Losing My Religion” has Tim dealing with having broken a valuable piece of church equipment and Randy questioning his religion. “Thanksgiving” finds Tim causing his usual ruckus when he accidentally blacks out all of the lights in the stadium when they go see a football game for Thanksgiving. And in “Tool-Thousand One: A Space Odyssey”, Tim and Al have a competition to see which one will be the one to use a Binford (the show’s sponsor) tool in space when two astronauts come to the show to present them with the challenge. And the season is rounded out in “From Top to Bottom” when Jill says some embarrassing things about Tim on a talk show while Tim is watching with all of his buddies in a hardware store.


"Tim, don’t you think this is a little insensitive, racially speaking?"
"Maybe, but nowhere near as much as if we had an illegal Mexican in there…"


This was another solidly-performing season for the show, as it finished the year tied for 10th in the Nielsen ratings (it completed every season in the Top 10). This was the last full season for Jonathan Taylor Thomas as he left the show to go to college in reality. And as the boys continued to get older, some of the themes that Tim and Jill had to deal with included Mark’s continual slide into a Gothic lifestyle, catching Brad with marijuana and also his wanting to get married to a college girl he just met, and Randy dating a girl, Lauren, exclusively, questioning his faith, and getting his driver’s license. All riveting stuff to be sure. Nevertheless, for me, this season is as good as any of the others and Home Improvement could be considered one of the rare shows that managed to stay very consistent throughout its entire run.

So there you have it, a four-way to cap 200 reviews. If you’ve ever managed to read even one of them, I thank you. And thanks to Nick and the CHUD crew for giving me the opportunity to do this silly bit of fluffery for three years running. Hope to continue on for a good while to come. In the meantime, I need a cigarette. Cheers.


8 Simple Rules, Season 1: 6.1 out of 10
I Pity The Fool: 4.3 out of 10
Darkwing Duck, Vol. 2: 6.5 out of 10
Home Improvement, Season 7: 7.0 out of 10