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The motion picture studios send us vermillions of DVD releases for the purpose of review. More titles than you can shake a stick at, unless you have a lot of time and a particularly sturdy stick. Unlike most sites [and weirdly a source of nitpicking from some detractors who we’ve discovered are dumb and lonely asexual prick assholes], we review everything we’re sent. Even the gay vampire program Lair (from the makers of Dante’s Cove). We have a wide array of reviewers, all with functioning nervous systems and all ready to entertain YOU with their puns and prose. You. Are. Welcome.

DVD REVIEW: V FOR VENDETTA

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Bros. Home VideoMSRP: $34.98RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 132 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• "Freedom! Forever!" behind-the-scenes featurette• Production design featurette• Historical documentary on Guy Fawkes• "England Prevails" comics history featurette• Cat Power montage• Theatrical trailer The Pitch "1984 meets The Matrix. No dangerous artificial intelligences; just right-wing nutjobs!" The Humans Hugo Weaving, … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: BLUE COLLAR TV – SEASON 1, VOL. 2

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Bros.MSRP: $24.98RATED: UnratedRUNNING TIME: 385 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Bonus Sketches• Bloopers The Pitch “Um, sir, remember when we released the Blue Collar TV DVD set? Yeah well we accidentally only released half of the episodes.” “You’re kidding me! That’s SO GREAT! Release the other half in another set and … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: BRISCO COUNTY JR, THE ADVENTURES OF

BUY IT FROM AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Bros.MSRP: $99.99RATING: NRRUNNING TIME: 1260 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:– Featurettes– Commentary THE PITCH “Hail to the cowboy, baby.” THE HUMANS Bruce Campbell, Julius Carry, Christian Clemenson, John Astin, Kelly Rutherford, John Pyper-Ferguson, Billy Drago THE NUTSHELL In the Old West (1893 to be precise), Brisco County Jr. (Campbell) is a … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: FACE THE MUSIC

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: New Line Home VideoMSRP: $19.98RATED: PG-13RUNNING TIME: 85 min.SPECIAL FEATURES: None The Pitch "It’s Kurt Cobain’s shotgun meets Mrs. Doubtfire!" The Humans Tyler Christopher (General Hospital), Elena Lyons (Club Dread) The Nutshell Washed-up rock band Fuzz Bucket have just been dropped by their record label and wind up playing … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: BARBIE DIARIES, THE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: LionsgateMSRP: $19.98RATED: Not RatedRUNNING TIME: 70 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:• Outtakes/Bloopers• Cootie Catcher game• The Scoop on Skye Sweetnam• Music Video• Kevin’s Paper Clip Movie featurette The Pitch Teen Girl Squad! Cheerleader! So and So! Whats Her Face! The Ugly One! (ugly one not included) The Humans Barbie™, Tia™, Courtney®, Raquelle®. … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: GETTING PLAYED

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: New Line Home EntertainmentMSRP: $19.98RATED: PG-13RUNNING TIME: 85 minutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Director’s commentary• Previews The Pitch We’ve got a few unused script pages leftover from Def Jam’s How to be a Player. Let’s get three aging but still hot actresses together, pull Bill Billamy off the street and see what … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: ER – SEASON 5

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Home VideoMSRP: $49.98 RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 976 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Outpatient outtakes: unaired scenes• Cutups: gag reel The Pitch Season 5 of a shload of people playing doctor. The Humans Anthony Edwards, George Clooney, Noah Wylie, Eriq La Salle, Julianna Margulies, Gloria Reuben, Laura Innes, Alex Kingston, Kellie … Continue reading

THE SPECIAL EDITION – 7.18.06

Yugoslavia. Mulletlicious Many agree Road House is special. Who wouldn’t want to see a Mercedes driving, NYU philosophy major with Zen-like instincts connect four on ignoramuses? The virtues of David Lee Henry & Hilary Henkin’s script lie somewhere between the paper-thin level of both good and bad; the pros outshines the cons, to which there … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: 7 YEAR ZIGZAG

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Next Step StudiosMSRP: $14.99 RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 83 Minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: • Soundtrack CD• Two bonus scenes • Production notes The Pitch "It’s the Biography channel as narrated by the Crappon!" The Humans Writer and director Richard Green narrates and dominates the film. The Nutshell Richard Green presents a … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: HOWLING V & HOWLING VI

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Artisan Home EntertainmentMSRP: $14.98RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 99 Minutes/102 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: Glorious scene selections The Pitch Sequels to The Howling couldn’t possibly get much worse after My Sister is a Werewolf and The Marsupials. Let’s give this franchise another try! The Humans A bunch of no-name actors who presumably never … Continue reading