Vampires suck. Literally, figuratively, and slurpily. Speaking Swedish does not exempt you from this rule, film villain. If you’re a vampire, get out of my movie cause you’re boring the shit out of me and my high maintenance horror audience. Back when I gave a fuck, I interviewed some vampires to get a bead on … Continue reading
There are two things that divide this country like no other: the meaning of freedom and whether or not Oprah is gay. And since I like to kill birds with the least amount of effort possible, I made a quirky little movie and called it Beloved. Beloved is not your run of the mill exploration … Continue reading
Stupid people are underrepresented in the movies. Yes, 90% are geared for tard consumption, but more often than not, they feature people of normal intelligence doing stupid shit. With Urban Cowboy my goal was to make a movie where every character was just as stupid as the people paying to see it. It’s a Joe … Continue reading
It was such an obvious idea. The fact that it took 1,990 years to come up with it makes me ashamed of my own humanity. You’d think Homer or Shakespeare would have stumbled upon it first, but nope, it was me. Hollywood collectively slapped itself on the forehead and fired its assistants when I pulled … Continue reading
I guess it’s time I finally break the silence regarding The Blair Witch Project. If there’s a dark spot on my career, the deaths of those three poor actors are it. I’m sorry, Josh. I’m sorry, Michael. I’m sorry, Heather. I just wanted to make a movie. Shit got outta hand. It was supposed to … Continue reading
What About Bob? was my attempt to adapt Alan Moore’s “The Killing Joke” to the big screen without the benefit of licensed DC Comics characters. Stupid idea? Maybe. But acts which require bravery, honor, and stunning good looks seldom call for brain power. Without Batman, Joker, and the Gordons, my adaptation could only be thematic, … Continue reading
Well, today we finally wrapped production on Nailin’ Paylin. Unfortunately, it still needs to be edited, so you won’t get a chance to download it for at least another three hours. As far as pornos that satirize female politicians go, I think it’s pretty good. Way better than my last attempt, 1994’s What Happens in … Continue reading
I think enough time has passed that I can admit to having kind of a rough childhood. Daddy and I simply could not get along. The animosity between us sprang from one very simple misunderstanding: “no” does not mean playing “hard to get.” After flipping through the TV channels and reading a few hundred celebrity … Continue reading
I’ve been remembering these movies for months now without any hint of perspective. I think the time has come to start commenting on how they rank, how something I learned from one played into another, and what kind of techniques I’ve used and discarded throughout these long filmmaking years. What is the running theme of … Continue reading
I made 300 because I love badasses and hate cats. And who exemplifies those two groups better than Spartans and Persians? (no, I WILL NOT bow to their wishes and call them Purrrsians!) Nobody, that’s who! Not even gangrene rear-ends and lolcats would suffice. Before we can get to blood and gore and skid-marks of … Continue reading