Comic-Con 09: Thursday; Sunburns and Fannypacks!

Going to the San Diego Comic-Con is like getting fisted by the beefy, greased-up hand of Kirstie Alley.  At first it’s kind of pleasant and you’re mildly star-struck, but eventually the pain sets in and you’re overcome with an overwhelming sense of shame. And after the whole miserable affair is over, you’re left shaking underneath … Continue reading

Comic-Con 09: Let the Madness Begin!

A year ago I put forth an infamous trilogy of Comic-Con reports that set temblors across the landscape of the internet community.  How do I know this?  Because one person commented on my writing in the forums.  One goddamn person.  So, I am currently re-evaluating just exactly how I should cover the Con this year … Continue reading

Dental Damn! Or: The Tooth Shall Set You Free!

Quite frequently I find myself fielding the same questions over and over whenever I am introduced to somebody new.  Questions like, “Sweet bastard, what’s that smell?”And “Sweet bastard, what the hell’s wrong with your teeth?” I haven’t figured out the answer to the first question yet (I have theories), but I do know the answer … Continue reading

Movie Theaters Freeze My Innards!

Does the movie-going experience need resuscitating?  With the advent of DVD technology, widescreen televisions, ass-shaking home theater sound systems, downloadable movies, microwave popcorn and hand lube, more and more people are opting to stay home instead of shelling out hard-earned cash for expensive movie tickets and credit-card shredding concession prices. Five bucks for Junior Mints?  … Continue reading

Lost Makes Me Believe In The Power Of Love!

Have any of you ever been trapped in a room with a cat in heat?  It’s not fun.  Aside from the ball-shriveling noises tunneling out of their little kitty throats, they tend to get a tad “frisky” with various objects; both mobile and immobile; both living and inanimate.  Without getting too graphic, let me just … Continue reading

Reality Game Shows Make Me Feel Sexy!

In my never-ending quest to hunt down quality television programming, I have been slapped with the realization that I am now whoring out my dignity to several crappy reality game shows.  This means that I now suckle the precious milk from the teats of such well-regarded productions as Hell’s Kitchen, Survivor and The Amazing Race. … Continue reading

Videogames Make Me Violent!

  While dealing with bouts of paranoia, consuming my weight in Bit O’ Honey bars and suffering from “Whiskey dick,” I have also been plowing through a stack of videogames purchased eons ago, way back before my nuts dropped.   While playing catch-up, I realized several disturbing things about myself.  For one thing, I really … Continue reading

Things I've Learned From The Learning Channel

Time is precious to me, so when I’m not eating salty meats or daydreaming about Bea Arthur, I like to do something constructive.  Like spend hours upon hours channel surfing.  According to my digital television guide, I have about a thousand different stations to choose from.  So, the other night I decided to broaden my horizons … Continue reading

The Beijing Olympics…Catch The Fever!

Since I started grad school a couple of weeks ago I haven’t been keeping up with world or local events.  Not that I keep up on things normally, I mean, most of my information comes from such revered periodicals as Alcoholics Monthly and Geriatric Bed-Sores Quarterly.  Compounding my limited knowledge is the fact that I … Continue reading