Going to the San Diego Comic-Con is like getting fisted by the beefy, greased-up hand of Kirstie Alley. At first it’s kind of pleasant and you’re mildly star-struck, but eventually the pain sets in and you’re overcome with an overwhelming sense of shame. And after the whole miserable affair is over, you’re left shaking underneath … Continue reading
A year ago I put forth an infamous trilogy of Comic-Con reports that set temblors across the landscape of the internet community. How do I know this? Because one person commented on my writing in the forums. One goddamn person. So, I am currently re-evaluating just exactly how I should cover the Con this year … Continue reading
Quite frequently I find myself fielding the same questions over and over whenever I am introduced to somebody new. Questions like, “Sweet bastard, what’s that smell?”And “Sweet bastard, what the hell’s wrong with your teeth?” I haven’t figured out the answer to the first question yet (I have theories), but I do know the answer … Continue reading
Does the movie-going experience need resuscitating? With the advent of DVD technology, widescreen televisions, ass-shaking home theater sound systems, downloadable movies, microwave popcorn and hand lube, more and more people are opting to stay home instead of shelling out hard-earned cash for expensive movie tickets and credit-card shredding concession prices. Five bucks for Junior Mints? … Continue reading
Have any of you ever been trapped in a room with a cat in heat? It’s not fun. Aside from the ball-shriveling noises tunneling out of their little kitty throats, they tend to get a tad “frisky” with various objects; both mobile and immobile; both living and inanimate. Without getting too graphic, let me just … Continue reading
In my never-ending quest to hunt down quality television programming, I have been slapped with the realization that I am now whoring out my dignity to several crappy reality game shows. This means that I now suckle the precious milk from the teats of such well-regarded productions as Hell’s Kitchen, Survivor and The Amazing Race. … Continue reading
While dealing with bouts of paranoia, consuming my weight in Bit O’ Honey bars and suffering from “Whiskey dick,” I have also been plowing through a stack of videogames purchased eons ago, way back before my nuts dropped. While playing catch-up, I realized several disturbing things about myself. For one thing, I really … Continue reading
As many CHUD readers can attest to, holiday traveling is about as much fun as working out to a Richard Simmons’ Sweatin’ To The Oldies tape. At first it’s bearable, but around the twenty minute mark, you’re reduced to a jiggly, babbling mess, forced to re-evaluate your life and, quite possibly, your sexuality. Such … Continue reading
Time is precious to me, so when I’m not eating salty meats or daydreaming about Bea Arthur, I like to do something constructive. Like spend hours upon hours channel surfing. According to my digital television guide, I have about a thousand different stations to choose from. So, the other night I decided to broaden my horizons … Continue reading
Since I started grad school a couple of weeks ago I haven’t been keeping up with world or local events. Not that I keep up on things normally, I mean, most of my information comes from such revered periodicals as Alcoholics Monthly and Geriatric Bed-Sores Quarterly. Compounding my limited knowledge is the fact that I … Continue reading