Four days. Four hard, long days. Days crammed with horrific smells. Days devoted to the mindless shuffling of weary feet. Days spent ingesting semi-edible food and imbibing on plentiful amounts of hard liquor. The San Diego Comic-Con is over. And I am exhausted. In years past I have documented my adventures during the annual gathering … Continue reading
The San Diego Comic Con is here again and, just like every year, I am already packing up deodorant, cologne, soap, whiskey, and a gas mask for the annual celebration of movies, television shows, video games and…uh…comics. And, just like every year, a combination of excitement and dread fills my ulcer-ridden guts. Questions plague my … Continue reading
Two island-based shows have disappeared. One for the season; and one for, well, ever. Recently, reality game show Survivor ended its 20th season (which was dubbed Heroes vs. Villains; pitting past winners and losers together), and the fictional, labyrinthine Lost concluded its 6 season run. Each show has represented a huge portion of my viewing … Continue reading
Recently, my girlfriend and I over-indulged on cheap booze and bowel-rattling snacks while recoiling in horror as scantily-clad men and women bounced on trampolines and mattresses under a massive tent in a dirty parking lot. No, it wasn’t another family bris..it was a performance by the famed Cirque du Soleil! As any wise crackhead will … Continue reading
Normally, I pride myself on being a manly man. That means, if you cross me or look at me funny, I’ll come at you like a fucking nightmare. All you’ll see are blinding movements consisting of blurry fists and swollen knuckles. I’m so manly I crap out mallets and piss lava. My nutsack is layered … Continue reading
Some of you youngsters out there might see the word “Scanners” and think this movie takes place at a Papyrus store or a Target Greatland and involves the antics of cashiers as they deal with crazy customers while using their price scanners in wacky ways. Well, you’d be wrong. Scanners does not have any montages … Continue reading
With the season of ghouls in full swing, television stations have begun airing an endless barrage of memorable and unmemorable scary movies that have been collecting dust in their vaults for the past year. Sometimes you’ll catch a gem, like Poltergeist. And sometimes you’ll catch a half-polished goat turd like Poltergeist II: The Other Side. … Continue reading
Throughout my confounding, inexplicable life, I have embarked on numerous adventures and have witnessed a multitude of astonishing sights (like peering over the edge of the Grand Canyon at sunset or watching a bum urinate on an unconscious transvestite outside a Shakey’s Pizzeria). While these excursions have shaped me in a variety of enlightening and … Continue reading
I used to have a deeply-tanned, anorexic neighbor in her 60’s that filled most her days by sunning beside the apartment pool. Every now and again, she would dive into the shallowest part of the pool and just sort of float on the surface; like a buoyant turd squeezed from the ass of a sea … Continue reading
Dreams. I rarely remember my dreams. Every now and then images from a dream (or dreams) will linger in my mind. And sometimes these images float around in my cranial nooks and crannies for seconds, minutes, even for years on end; camping out until I discover their hiding places. Then I remember them. Sometimes. On … Continue reading