Movie News

We could simply cut and paste stories from Variety, but we don’t. We’re too amazing for that. We RETYPE articles from Variety…

LOHAN GETS SHIPWRECKED

Many viewers of Lost wonder how the fat guy can stay so fat when shipwrecked on a deserted island*. Maybe the reason why Lindsey Lohan is in talks to star in the new version of Swiss Family Robinson is that her emaciated frame is the perfect look for someone living off of coconuts and rainwater. … Continue reading

THE SECRET LIFE OF OWEN WILSON

The Butterscotch Stallion is looking to star in a new version of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, a project that’s been floating around for years and years now. For a long time this was a Jim Carrey pet project, but I guess he’s moved on and Wedding Crasher Owen Wilson is filling his shoes. … Continue reading

THE MISSION IS ON

Filming began today on the latest great vaporfilm, Mission: Impossible 3. The first shots took place on a speedboat on the Tiber River, which for all you geography heathens, is in Italy. The film has been slowly getting to this point over the last few years, and I have to admit that I was a … Continue reading

PARAMOUNT IS LIKE SCHOOL IN THE SUMMER

For about 23 seconds a while back, it seemed like Paramount was possibly veering from their new paradigm of Remaking Everything in favor of something completely original.  I can’t for the life of me recall what the project was, but it must’ve happened.  Maybe it was just a dream sequence. Anyway, the studio has decided … Continue reading

SHOUT AT THE DEVIL #2

Here’s the second installment of my very own letter column, Shout at the Devil. It’s been a little while since the first one, but I’ve been pretty busy, and most of it has been supplying this site with some content – I hope it shows. Right now I am in sunny Los Angeles, so of course … Continue reading

PUNISHMENT IMMINENT?

The sequel to the latest Punisher movie apparently continues to move forward, despite the fact that the first one didn’t do that well. At least that’s what Thomas Jane is saying – and he’s feeling confident enough about the film that he’s been spending a lot of time in the gym. "I’ve been in the gym … Continue reading

BACK TO PRISON

When I caught filmmaker Eric Valette’s claustrophobic occult-themed prison flick Malefique at Montreal’s Fantastia Festival a couple of summers ago, at no point did I think “This is pretty cool, but it’d be way better if the guy who produced Torque made it.”  But to be completely honest (and I’m all about disclosure), that’s only … Continue reading

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE REPORT

Rank Title WeekendGross CumulativeGross Weeks in Release 1 Fantastic Four $56,000,000 $56,000,000 1 2 War of the Worlds $31,300,000 $165,800,000 2 3 Batman Begins $10,200,000 $172,100,000 4 4 Dark Water $10,100,000 $10,100,000 1 5 Mr. and Mrs. Smith $7,800,000 $158,700,000 5 6 Herbie: Fully Loaded $6,200,000 $48,500,000 3 7 Bewitched $5,500,000 $50,800,000 3 8 Madagascar … Continue reading