Does anyone ever really know what they are truly capable of? I think we discover what we are capable of when we are placed in a position that requires us to reach beyond our comfort zone. You may have an innate skill for playing tennis, but if never pick up a tennis racquet and play the sport, how would you know?

I don’t think I ever really knew the power of love until my daughter was born. To say that I love her is like saying Einstein was pretty smart. I do have to say that I am emotionally challenged. I seem to be capable of 2 distinct emotions: like and love. Like comes fairly easily and love rarely. I don’t hate even though I use the word at times to describe people or situations. Hate requires an emotional investment, I don’t have that much in my emotional bank to begin with, I’m not going to waste any on someone I don’t like.

My emotionally challenged state was cited this evening by a good friend. Apparently this obviates me from consideration by normal, emotionally healthy women because the risk that I won’t be able reciprocate feelings is too great. I’m not sure what I am capable of emotionally. Unfortunately I had to make choices growing up that created emotional barricades. These have had some dire consequences, and are probably why I date the people I do.

I have attempted to let people see what lives behind the walls and for one reason or another it hasn’t worked out. Is there some untapped potential behind my walls, or is it like my friend said and I’m just damaged goods? I don’t know the answer to that. I know that “normal” people are capable of many different ranges of emotion, I’m thinking I should be as well. 

I am not soliciting psychological advice, instead is asking what your experiences have been like. Are you like me, or have you dated someone like me?

-David Wagner is not depressed, just curious.