The Mountain Goats make the best music. Let’s throw out that fan-wank conceit that any aficionado’s tastes should be too dense and layered to let any one artist rise to the top. You have a favorite parent, a favorite sibling, just like you have a favorite book or a favorite leg bone. So own it, … Continue reading
I’m not going to write about The Clone Wars. Not because George Lucas bullied me into an embargo. Lucas hasn’t bullied me into doing anything other than get the hell off his lawn, and that wasn’t so much him as the X-Wing patch-wearing security guards he has posted all over those Rodian-green hillocks. And it’s … Continue reading
Last week I began a look back at the summer movie season of 1994 in an attempt to contextualize this year’s excellent, though potentially overblown, crop of blockbusters, blockdenters, and blockdodgers. Why 1994? Because of randomization. And because it was the summer I fingered that one girl. Here now is the exciting conclusion. July 15: … Continue reading
Some are saying that this is the best summer at the movies in the history of summers at the movies. Admittedly, it’s been pretty good. While The Dark Knight didn’t ask you to check your brains at the door, it certainly asked you to check your emotional maturity somewhere. Maybe just toss it on the … Continue reading
Some questions I asked myself while watching The Dark Knight: If Superman growled all the time, would anyone ever suspect he was really Clark Kent? Hong Kong? Why? Couldn’t Gordon have just told his family he was going to be fake killed? Didn’t he come back to life the next day? How big of a … Continue reading
There’s a moment in Mama Mia! where I almost felt like my time and money hadn’t been wasted. That life might be worth living again. As Meryl Streep and her screaming friend-goons go hip-swiveling out of their spit-shined studio and into the real-live Grecian seaport village the producers rented for the week, I started to … Continue reading
Former White House press secretary and Fox News anchor Tony Snow has died of cancer. Back when he was still breathing and lying to America for a living, Snow asked the members of the White House press corps to wear yellow silicone bracelets to commemorate his terrible disease. In Mr. Snow’s memory, I now reprint … Continue reading
While at Dragon*Con this Labor Day weekend, I’ll be staying in a downtown Atlanta hotel that cost me $194 for four nights. No, not per night. Maybe I should be worried. I don’t understand why I was able to score a room so cheaply. Even a space with cardboard walls, no bathtub, and a cum-stained … Continue reading
Well, this is war. A while back, I reviewed the first season DVD set of A&E’s Paranormal State for my friends over at PinkRaygun.com, and I got a little carried away. I expected the show to be a simple Ghost Hunters rip off. You know, a bunch of amateur sleuths who don’t know how to … Continue reading
Jesus Christ, my ex-girlfriend has gotten fat. I ran into her last night at the bar, which is weird because I almost never go to the bar. Mostly because I hate running into people. Being so charming and physically attractive, people tend to remember me. Being a four-year survivor of a major airline disaster, I … Continue reading