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The motion picture studios send us vermillions of DVD releases for the purpose of review. More titles than you can shake a stick at, unless you have a lot of time and a particularly sturdy stick. Unlike most sites [and weirdly a source of nitpicking from some detractors who we’ve discovered are dumb and lonely asexual prick assholes], we review everything we’re sent. Even the gay vampire program Lair (from the makers of Dante’s Cove). We have a wide array of reviewers, all with functioning nervous systems and all ready to entertain YOU with their puns and prose. You. Are. Welcome.

DVD REVIEW: LEFT IN DARKNESS

BUY IT AT AMAZON:  Click HERE!STUDIO:  Anchor BayMSRP:  $19.90RATED:  Not RatedRUNNING TIME:  88 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:•Making of Featurette•"My 21st Birthday" Featurette•Commentary The Pitch “Mr. Cannell, I’ve written a horror movie and I’d like you to re…” “A horror movie!  Deal!”  “But, you, um haven’t even read it.”  “READ!?  Who has time to READ?  I’m Stephen J. … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: FEAST (UNRATED)

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: DimensionMSRP: $29.98RATED: UnratedRUNNING TIME: 92 Minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: Commentary Deleted scenes FX Featurette "Making of" The Pitch "Creatures who enjoy eating people are waiting patiently outside to eat the patrons of a bar in the middle of nowhere. Except they ain’t patient." The Humans Navi Rawat. Clu Gulager. Henry … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: SMALLVILLE – SEASON 5

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERESTUDIO: Warner Home VideoMSRP: $59.98 RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 925 minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: • Commentary by Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, Ken Horton, and Steven S. DeKnight on Thirst• Commentary by Steven S. DeKnight, James Marshall, and James Marsters (Prof. Fine) on Splinter• Smallville’s 100th Episode: The Making of a Milestone featurette• … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: FLINTSTONES, THE – SEASON 6

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERESTUDIO: UniversalMSRP: $44.98RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 780 Minutes SPECIAL FEATURES:• The Flintstones Meet Pop Culture: Stephen Baldwin hosts a look at the effect of pop culture on the show, and vice versa• The Great Gazoo: From A to Zetox The Pitch "Fred & Barney meet Gazoo…Flintstones meet the shark and jump it."The … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: COMBAT DIARY – THE MARINES OF LIMA COMPANY

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: A&E Home VideoMSRP: $24.95RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 91 minutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Extended footage• Slide show with commentary The Pitch Marines document their tour of duty in Iraq with video cameras. It’s just like The Real World, except without all the sex and retards desperately trying to get famous. The Humans … Continue reading

THE SPECIAL EDITION – 9.26.06

Here we go. A while back, my friend and I used to play around in a giant factory, jumping into a rousing game of tag, throwing fists at one another, being generally belligerent. That was, until I threw him into a vat of Toxic Waste. When he returned, scared, intelligible, and completely mental, he did … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: STAY ALIVE (UNRATED)

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Hollywood PicturesMSRP: $29.99RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 101 Minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: • Commentary• Interactive menus (for reals)• Visual effects reel The Pitch "It’s Silent Hill meets Scream! Self-absorbed meets self-referential!" The Humans Samaire Armstrong (The OC), Sophia Bush (One Tree Hill), Frankie Muniz (Malcolm in the Middle), Jon Foster (Life as … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: COMMANDER IN CHIEF, PART 2

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Buena VistaMSRP: $29.98RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 390 Minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: • Commentary• Deleted Scenes• Bloopers• Geena Davis interview The Pitch "Geena Davis is the president of the whole wide world!" The Humans Geena Davis. Donald Sutherland. Kyle Secor. Harry Lennix. Peter Coyote. The Nutshell (my review of part one) The … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: SHAGGY DOG, THE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE! STUDIO: DisneyMSRP: $29.99RATED: PGRUNNING TIME: 99 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Commentary by director Brian Robbins and producer David Hoberman• Bloopers• Deleted Scenes• Bark-Along Bone-us Feature The Pitch “Lawyer revealed to be dog, millions unsurprised” The Humans Tim Allen (Zoom), Robert Downey Jr. (Johnny Be Good), Zena Grey (Max Keeble’s Big … Continue reading