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The motion picture studios send us vermillions of DVD releases for the purpose of review. More titles than you can shake a stick at, unless you have a lot of time and a particularly sturdy stick. Unlike most sites [and weirdly a source of nitpicking from some detractors who we’ve discovered are dumb and lonely asexual prick assholes], we review everything we’re sent. Even the gay vampire program Lair (from the makers of Dante’s Cove). We have a wide array of reviewers, all with functioning nervous systems and all ready to entertain YOU with their puns and prose. You. Are. Welcome.

DVD REVIEW: EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: LionsGateMSRP: $28.98RATING: PG-13RUNNING TIME: 108 minutesSPECIAL FEATURES:· Commentaries featuring Greg Coolidge and Dane Cook· “At Work with Lon”· Ad-Libs· Alternate Opening· MySpace Video Contest winnersThe Pitch It’s your typical, slacker tries to get the girl comedy, only this one dares to include zero laughs. The Humans Dane Cook, Dax … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: GOLDEN GIRLS, THE – SEASON 7

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: TouchstoneMSRP: $39.99RATED: TV-PGRUNNING TIME: 625 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: "Thank You For Being A Friend" featurette The Pitch "Picture this: You’re eight years old. You get up in the middle of the night because you need a drink of water. As you pass the guest bedroom where your grandparents are staying … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: RED DOORS

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERESTUDIO: Warner Home Entertainment MSRP: $19.98 RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 90 minutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Commentary by director and producer• Behind Red Doors featurette• Educated: a short film by Georgia Lee• Cast/filmmaker interviews• Photo gallery• Theatrical trailerThe Pitch See? Asian families are just as screwed up as the rest of us. The … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: CHRISTMAS FAMILY TRAGEDY, A

STUDIO: Break of Dawn ProductionsMSRP: $20.00 + shippingRATED: Not RatedRUNNING TIME: 70 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: None The PitchThe true-life story of the Lawson Family Massacre, as told through an incredible amount of Photoshop. The HumansLots of old people, too numerous to mention. The NutshellFirst off, you can’t buy this film from Amazon.com. If you’d like to … Continue reading

CLASH OF THE TARTANS: BLOODY TIES

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Tartan VideoMSRP: $22.95RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 116 minutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Tartan Asian Extreme new releases• The making of Bloody Ties• Theatrical trailer The Pitch A spineless drug dealer unwillingly joins forces with a burned out shell of a detective to take down Busan’s biggest drug lord.The Humans Ja-Hyeon Chu, Jeong-min … Continue reading

CLASH OF THE TARTANS: DIVERGENCE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Tartan VideoMSRP: $22.95RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 10 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Feature Commentary w/ director• "Making-of" featurette• Photo gallery• Premiere footage• Trailers The Pitch "It’s LA Confidential, in that it, too, is made up of images flickering on a screen." The Humans Aaron Kwok, Ekin Cheng, Daniel Wu, Angelica Lee. The … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: NIGHTOWLS OF COVENTRY

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE! STUDIO: Cinema EpochMSRP: $19.98RUNNING TIME: 75 minutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Movie trailer• Cast and crew bios• Theatrical trailer• Sundance Channel interview with director Laura Paglin• Interview with Harvey Pekar The Pitch Get ready to be served up a fun filled tale about a deli owner and his eccentric clientele… then … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: THERE WAS A CROOKED MAN…

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Bros.MSRP: $19.97RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 123 minutesSPECIAL FEATURES:· Vintage Featurette · Theatrical Trailer The PitchCool Hand Luke by way of The Great Escape, without any sense of urgency, good filmmaking, or charm. The HumansAlan Hale, Kirk Douglas, Henry Fonda, Burgess Meredith, Warren Oates, John Randolph, Hume Cronyn The Nutshell … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: INSATIABLE NEEDS

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Image EntertainmentMSRP: $13.99RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 92 minutesSPECIAL FEATURES: None. The Pitch 10 Songs with fake sex and no songs. The Humans Chloe, Dee, Jezebelle Bond, Danny Pape, Angela Davies, Tony Tedeschi. The Nutshell “Sex and Rock & Roll.” The Lowdown Once upon a time, soft-core pornography was quite the … Continue reading

SPECIAL EDITION – 02.19.07

Time for another Special Edition. Look’s like I am up to column number five – a full month into this. Hope you are all enjoying it so far because it’s costing me a lot of money, with me seeing everything coming out and buying everything I can as a result. Ah well, not much else … Continue reading