Insatiable Needs DVD coverBUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Image Entertainment
MSRP: $13.99
RUNNING TIME: 92 minutes

The Pitch

10 Songs with fake sex and no songs.

The Humans

Chloe, Dee, Jezebelle Bond, Danny Pape, Angela Davies, Tony Tedeschi.

The Nutshell

“Sex and Rock & Roll.”

The Lowdown

Once upon a time, soft-core pornography was quite the thing, at least until the internet rendered it mostly useless; why pay to watch people faking it when you can see the real thing online for free?

Most soft-core movies were fairly lame, with silly plots and ridiculous sex scenes, but they did help fill a void, and served as “gateway” movies to real skin-flicks.

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"I can eat an apple for hours!"

Insatiable Needs, from Playboy Video and Image Entertainment, is a soft-core porno movie trying to get by in a world where your next-door neighbor probably has their own XXX-rated website.

Unlike his brother Max, who found fame and fortune in the videogame industry, Dax Payne is a world-famous rock star. There are a few shots of him holding an acoustic guitar and a tiny bit of off-key singing, but we never get to actually see him perform a song or otherwise hear any of his music. His musical gifts are a mystery to everyone but himself and the people who made Insatiable Needs. For all intents and purposes, he could have been an accountant and it wouldn’t have changed the plot of the movie very much.

Anyways, Dax has an important tour coming up, but he seems to have this nasty habit of collapsing at inopportune times. His uptight lady manager – who’s nailing Dax on the side, unbeknownst to her husband – doesn’t feel this sort of behavior is a good career move for her meal-ticket; she thinks Dax’s hedonistic lifestyle is to blame for his health issues. She hires a nurse named Kate to keep an eye Dax and to make sure the hangers-on that populate his house don’t cause problems for him. Kate reluctantly takes the job, even though it doesn’t seem like she needs the money: the house she shares with her neglectful boyfriend is quite large and luxurious. Apparently, nurses make good scratch.

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"What’s a Chachi?"

What happens next is mostly sex scenes interspersed with dull expository dialog that advances the plot. Everyone is having sex with everyone else, and we get to peep through the keyhole. Kate is mildly appalled by the debauchery at first, but she gets into the swing of things pretty quickly. It doesn’t seem right that she’s cheating on her boyfriend, but he’s a jerk who doesn’t seem to care about her and he’s having an affair of his own, so Kate’s infidelity is justified.

Don’t worry though: there’s an upbeat ending, where Kate and her boyfriend patch the yawning rift between them in about a minute. Everyone goes home happy.

Even for a soft-core skin flick, Insatiable Needs‘ plot is pretty dumb. You won’t buy a single second of it.

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A free prize in every box.

You won’t be watching Insatiable Needs for the plot though: you’ll be watching for the sex and casual, unmotivated nudity, and there’s plenty of both. Insatiable Needs has several sex scenes, and while they’re fairly explicit by soft-core standards, they’re also rather unarousing and dull. It’s standard “movie sex,” where people get it on in positions that just don’t look particularly comfortable (or erotic), but the director probably thought it would look “cool” to have sex scenes that resembled nudie Twister.

There are a couple of lesbian sex scenes as well as a mini-orgy in Insatiable Needs, but they’re boring too. Insatiable Needs is only 90 minutes long, but you’ll be checking your watch a lot throughout the movie, even during the “hot” scenes. Multiple cameos by a boom mike can’t save this movie either: if you listen closely, you can hear it snoring.

What Insatiable Needs could have used was the presence of people like the soft-core Shannons – Tweed and Whirry – who knew they were in C-grade trash, but were able to at least elevate it to “guilty pleasure” status. No such luck in the case of this movie; it doesn’t know how to have fun. And that makes it un-fun to watch.

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The ‘WKRP’ wrap parties could get pretty wild.

With “real” pornography available to anyone with an internet connection and the ability to depress a mouse button, movies like Insatiable Needs just don’t seem relevant; even if the flick was good (which it isn’t), you wouldn’t want to waste your time with it.

The Package

Insatiable Needs is bereft of extra features, so this section will be short: you get the movie in a full-frame format, and that’s about it. The picture quality is acceptable, although a few scenes have traces of grain in them.

The movie has Dolby Digital sound, and it sounds okay. No other sound options – or subtitles – are available.

3 out of 10