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The motion picture studios send us vermillions of DVD releases for the purpose of review. More titles than you can shake a stick at, unless you have a lot of time and a particularly sturdy stick. Unlike most sites [and weirdly a source of nitpicking from some detractors who we’ve discovered are dumb and lonely asexual prick assholes], we review everything we’re sent. Even the gay vampire program Lair (from the makers of Dante’s Cove). We have a wide array of reviewers, all with functioning nervous systems and all ready to entertain YOU with their puns and prose. You. Are. Welcome.

DVD REVIEW: ATTACK OF THE GRYPHON

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: SonyMSRP: $24.96RATED: PG-13RUNNING TIME: 90 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:• trailers• chapter searchThe PitchIt’s Dragonheart without Connery… or Quaid… or David Thewlis… or Dina Meyer… or ILM… or a dragon…The HumansJonathan LaPaglia (Inferno), Larry Drake (Dr. Giggles), Amber Benson (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Andrew Pleavin (300), Sarah Douglas (Conan the Destroyer)The NutshellTwo … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: PENNY DREADFUL

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: LionsgateMSRP: $19.98 RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 92 minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: • "Behind the Screams" featurette• Sanity "Stay Away" music video• Trailers The Pitch "It’s The Pit and the Pendulum meets The Hitcher!" The Humans Rachel Miner, Mimi Rogers, Chad Todhunter (watch out, Tod!) The Nutshell Young Penny (Miner) lost both … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: EVIL (TO KAKO)

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Danger After DarkMSRP: $24.98RATED: UnratedRUNNING TIME: 83 Minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: English Subtitles Photo Gallery Trailer The Pitch How do you say ‘poop’ in Greek? To Kako. The Humans Meletis Georgiadis. Yannis Katsambas. Andreas Kontopoulos. Pepi Moschovakou. Argiris Thanasoulas. Mykeyboardis Takingabeating. This MAY have been shot on video. The Nutshell … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: WITHOUT A TRACE – SEASON 2

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERESTUDIO: Warner Home VideoMSRP: $59.98 RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 1040 minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: • "Missing Evidence": unaired scenes The Pitch FBI tracks down MIA SWFs, MDs, Ph.Ds, MILFs, etc. The Humans Anthony LaPaglia, Poppy Montgomery, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Enrique Murciano, Eric Close. "Come on, Sen. Boyette’s body is in here somewhere!""Uh, boss, … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: UNREST

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: LionsgateMSRP: $19.98RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 88 minutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Commentary w/ director and editor• Behind-the-scenes featurette• Trailers The Pitch "It’s Quetzacoatl meets The Exorcist in med school!" or, "How Not To Dispose Of A Corpse." The Humans Corri English, Scot Davis, Joshua Alba, Derrick O’Connor. The Nutshell Alison Blanchard is … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: SUBLIME (UNRATED)

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Bros.MSRP: $24.98RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 113 minutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Commentary and interviews w/ writer and director• Additional footage from the "Surgical Exorcism"• Theatrical trailer The Pitch "It’s faux-Freudian dream interpretation!" The Humans Tom Cavanagh, Katherine Cunningham-Eves, Kathleen York. The Nutshell Poor George Grieves (Cavanagh). He’s turning forty and he … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Home Video MSRP: $27.98 RATING: PG-13 RUNNING TIME: 86 minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: • Commentary with Christopher Guest and Eugene Levy • 18 Deleted/alternative scenes and outtakes • “Home for Purim” poster gallery • Theatrical Trailer The Pitch How about another movie centered on Hollywood’s shallow and dumb populace? … Continue reading

THE SPECIAL EDITION – 03.26.07

Welcome to The Special Edition. CHILDREN OF MEN The best movie released last year was Children of Men. No offense to Oscar winner The Departed and no offense to Pan’s Labyrinth for it’s cinematography award, but Children of Men was my number one pick in both of those categories. The fact that it was not … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: GRAVEDANCERS, THE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Lions Gate EntertainmentMSRP: $19.98RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 98 minutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Behind the scenes featurette with optional commentary• Deleted scenes with optional commentary• Feature length commentary by director Mike Mendez• Original theatrical trailer with optional commentary• Special effects featurette• Storyboard sequenceThe PitchThe dead hate the living, especially their terrible dancing.The … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: HAMILTONS, THE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Lions Gate EntertainmentMSRP: $19.98RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 86 minutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Bloopers• Deleted scenes• Feature length commentary with the directors and Cory Knauf The Pitch It’s Party of Five but with plenty of death to go along with the brooding.The HumansCory Knauf, Samuel Child, Mackenzie Firgens and Brittany Daniel. The … Continue reading