Home Video

The motion picture studios send us vermillions of DVD releases for the purpose of review. More titles than you can shake a stick at, unless you have a lot of time and a particularly sturdy stick. Unlike most sites [and weirdly a source of nitpicking from some detractors who we’ve discovered are dumb and lonely asexual prick assholes], we review everything we’re sent. Even the gay vampire program Lair (from the makers of Dante’s Cove). We have a wide array of reviewers, all with functioning nervous systems and all ready to entertain YOU with their puns and prose. You. Are. Welcome.

DVD REVIEW: SHALL WE DANCE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE! STUDIO: RKO Radio Pictures, Inc. MSRP: $14.98RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 109 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Audio Commentary by Songwriter Hugh Martin and Pianist Kevin Cole• New Featurette: The Music of Shall We Dance• Music Short: Sheik to Sheik • Classic Cartoon: Toy Town Hall Musicals in today’s day and age are almost … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: MILLION DOLLAR BABY (DELUXE)

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE! STUDIO: Warner Home Video MSRP: $39.98 RATED: PG-13 RUNNING TIME: 132 Minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: • Full Soundtrack on disc 3 • Born To Fight • Producers Round 15 • James Lipton Takes on Three If I were living in a different time, Million Dollar Baby would probably become my … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: STATE PROPERTY 2

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Lions GateMSRP: $27.98RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 88 min.SPECIAL FEATURES: Commentary The Pitch “As if rap itself were not embarrassing enough…” The Humans Damon Dash (The Woodsman – WTF!?), Mariah Carey (Glitter – Possibly the best film about the mentally retarded, ever!), ODB (Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: ALF – SEASON 2

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Lions GateMSRP: $39.98RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 500 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Interactive Menus• Episode of Alf Tales• Episode of Alf’s Animated Adventures Back in the day I was a big Alf fan. Maybe, in the least disgusting way possible, I had something for furry muppet aliens with phallic noses (I’m a big … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: HELLBOUND

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Bros.MSRP: $14.99RUNNING TIME: 95 min.RATED: RSPECIAL FEATURES: Chuck The Pitch “Who needs metaphor and biblical intrigue when you have Chuck and Norris!” The Humans Chuck Norris. Calvin Levels. Sheree J. Wilson. Christopher Neame. The Nutshell It’s not easy to be a bigger stereotype than Charles Norris, Esq. Back … Continue reading

THE SPECIAL EDITION – 8.14.05

Holy hell, it’s another week for DVDs. There’s most likely only one title on your must list, the first one mentioned, in fact. Just make sure as you skip downward to ignore everything written to see the snazzy Cover Art and be mesmerized into some sort of ignoramus state. That’s mostly how I am when … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: DALLAS – SEASON 3

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Home VideoMSRP: $39.98RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 1176 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Commentary on “Sue Ellen’s Choice” and “A House Divided” by Patrick Duffy and Linda Gray• Who Shot J.R.?: The Dallas Phenomenon documentary In the 1970s and ‘80s, Dallas and Dynasty popularized the concept of a primetime soap opera. They borrowed … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: BRIDE & PREJUDICE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: MiramaxMSRP: $29.99RATED: PG-13RUNNING TIME: 111 Minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: • Commentary by director/cowriter Gurinder Chadha and cowriter Paul Mayeda Berges• Making of Featurette• Deleted Scenes• Extended Songs• Ashanti’s Song• A Conversation with actors Aishwarya Rai and Martin Henderson The films of Bollywood – Indian cinema – are best known for … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: NEW JACK CITY (SE)

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Home VideoMSRP: $26.99RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 100 Minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: • Commentary by director/co-star Mario Van Peebles• NJC: A Hip-Hop Classic• Harlem World: A Walk Inside• The Road to New Jack City• Music videos: New Jack Hustler (Nino’s Theme) by Ice T, I’m Dreamin’ by Christopher Williams, and I … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: CYPHER

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Buena VistaMSRP: $29.99RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 96 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: Nada Most movies leave an impression that can be easily backed up. Odds are, if you walk out of a movie pleased or angry, you can give reasons why. It’s rare to walk out saying “That sucked. I don’t know why … Continue reading