Where the author tells you of the many things out there that make him want to become a master thief with an exceptionally large basement to hoard the myriad material things worth owning and loving. Good day. The love of consumption is a shameful yet glorious thing as evidenced by the many odd and showy … Continue reading
Toronto ’07 begins with The Orphanage, The Man From London, Ulzhan and Control.
Our next screening is for Cronenberg’s latest – Eastern Promises! The film follows the mysterious and ruthless Nikolai (Viggo Mortensen), who is tied to one of London’s most notorious organized crime families. His carefully maintained existence is jarred when he crosses paths with Anna (Naomi Watts), an innocent midwife trying to right a wrong, who … Continue reading
Wolfgang Petersen has his next project lined up: The Grays, based on a novel by crazy alien abductee Whitley Streiber. I guess this is what happens when you make Poseidon, a movie that sank faster than the titular ship (take that Richard Dreyfuss, you punching bastard!). Streiber used to be a regular writer of horror … Continue reading
When Will Smith and director Gabriele Muccino parted ways on Tonight, He Comes (now John Hancock) due to the dreaded "creative differences" (Hollywood speak for "You’re a piece of shit!"/"No, You’re a piece of shit! And gay! And I can prove it!"), I thought it was the end of the end of an historic partnership … Continue reading
The biggest action movie of the year is about to get a whole lot bigger: Transformers is hitting IMAX screens on September 21. And this isn’t just the same movie you saw in theaters two months ago – this version will have more footage. Probably of things blowing up… in IMAX! So you want to … Continue reading
It’s Casey Affleck’s face you’ll remember. His expressions are crude oil: unrefined, shifting, impenetrable. His eyes and lips slide and scrabble for purchase on some honest display. As the coward Robert Ford, Affleck brings a quiet arsenal to bear on a man whose personality was as thin as prison gruel. By making Ford empathetic, he’s … Continue reading
Yes, Billy Bob Thornton is Mr. Woodcock. You’ve probably seen the poster and trailer for Mr. Woodcock by now, but if you haven’t, it’s about a guy (played by Seann William Scott) who was tortured by a horrible gym teacher (Billy Bob) when he was a fat kid. Now he’s all growns up and self-assured, and … Continue reading
It just isn’t safe anymore. It’s not safe to make a joke about a videogame, however shitty and obscure, becoming a motion picture. Same goes for whatever cheesy cartoons you watched as a young’un. Hollywood these days don’t give a fuck, son. They will adapt that shit in a second. I half-jokingly noted in an … Continue reading
Not the movie we were promised.