We’re usually taught to respect our elders, but there have been plenty of characters in film who never quite got that memo. There’s a long and proud tradition in movies of elderly abuse and bad doings being transgressed on the 4:30 dinner crowd. This is the generation that did things like survive the Great Depression, fight the Nazis (and the Reds!), raise our parents and all too often us. One would think they’d earned a bit of consideration like guaranteed Social Security, adult diapers that don’t leak or generally not getting the shit beat out of them and snuffed like some third-rate red shirt. In this CHUD list, we’re going to take a look at a batch of old timers who, unfortunately, turned into having-a-really-bad-timers.
The Film: Blown Away (1994)
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The Director: Stephen Hopkins
The Elders: Uncle Max
Jimmy Dove’s (aka Liam McGivney’s) Irish uncle who makes the mistake of narcing on Jimmy’s antagonist and mad Irish bomber, Ryan Gaerity, when the lad approached him in a bar. The ole dad phoned up Jimmy, a bomb squad cop and former compatriot of Ryan’s in the old country, which led to the situation you see pictured above.
The Abuse: Going out in a blaze of gory.
A congenial meeting between Max and Ryan in the bar discussing the homeland led to the phone call by Max to Jimmy, the confrontation between Ryan and Max, the punches and the hurt feelings between the two. When next we saw Max, he was wrapped up like an Arab stereotype, unable to move for fear of being blown to Kingdom Come. Jimmy found Max, but with only minutes left to undo Ryan’s handiwork. Max succinctly yet accurately stated his situation: he was pretty well buggered.
Lack Of Respect By: Ryan Gaerity
Gaerity had it out for Jimmy in a big way. Back when Jimmy was Liam, they were running buddies in Ireland. But Ryan liked to supplement his income by blowing shit up on the side. When Liam found out and tried to stop him, it ended up costing the life of Liam’s girlfriend / Ryan’s sister and Ryan’s incarceration in prison. When Ryan broke out and made his way Stateside, he set about his mad bombing ways as payback. That included Uncle Max unfortunately, much to Jimmy’s chagrin:
Did He Have It Coming? Nah. Max was just a pawn. Consider him collateral bombage.
Could the AARP Have Helped? The AARP were in bomb shelters apparently.
If Nature Had Taken Its Course? Max keels over at ninethysomething with a pint in an Irish bar.
What Andy Rooney Might Say: I’m not a fan of blowing up old Irishmen. At all. Whatsoever. Period.