We’re usually taught to respect our elders; but there have been plenty of characters in film who never quite got that memo. There’s been a long and proud tradition in movies of elderly abuse and bad doings being transgressed on the 4:30 dinner crowd. This is the generation that did things like survived the Great Depression, fought the Nazis and the Reds, raised our parents and all too often us. One would think they’d earned a bit of consideration for things like guaranteed Social Security, adult diapers that don’t leak and generally not getting the shit beat out of them or snuffed like some third rate extra. In this CHUD list, we’re going to take a look at 15 old-timers who, unfortunately, turned into having-a-really-bad-timers.
The Film: In the Mouth of Madness (1994)
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The Director: John Carpenter
The Elder(s): Mr. Pickman (Unknown) Old Man on Bike (Sean Ryan)
Hobbs End is loaded with all sorts of weirdness ranging from angry mobs to shifting paintings to creepy children to the idea of Julie Carmen in a starring role. The fictional (we hope) setting for chainsmoking legend John Carpenter’s In the Mouth of Madness also boasts no shortage of elderly abuse. And thank God for that.
Because this film boasts not only a child becoming an old coot just in time to get slammed by a car but also a delightful act of treachery from one old person to another!
Mrs. Pickman (the now unalive Francis Bay) is the clerk at the hotel where our protagonists are staying. Mr. Pickman is spoken of but not seen. Until…
The Abuse(s): …we discover that the geriatric hottie has his naked enslaved form handcuffed to her leg.
The poor man has been tormented by the love of his life. But what else can you expect in a twisted nightmare world where everything is not what it seems.It’s a book come to life, and one that gets crazier and crazier as the story progresses. Eventually Mr. Pickman is axe murdered by his wife. That’s pretty shitty, but even more so when the bitch evolves into this:
Tentacles! I wish I could say that Mr. Pickman didn’t know what hit him but he knew EXACTLY what hit him: His beloved soul mate of five decades. She hit him with a sharp and heavy chunk of truth.
The other unfortunate occurrence involves a boy on a bike. Contrary to trivia, the boy isn’t Star Wars nightmare Hayden Christensen. He plays a DIFFERENT boy on a bike. A paperboy. This kid actor also has gone on to appear in films to this day but luckily doesn’t have a Takers or Youngling murder on his hands.
The little boy isn’t a boy for long. Next thing you know he’s an old dude. And then the next thing that happens is Julie Carmen and Sam Neill driving onto him.
Lack Of Respect By:
Did they see it coming? I mean, they live in Hobbs End. How do you NOT get old and slaughtered within city limits?
Could the AARP Have Helped? Shit no. They have very specific policies regarding tentacles.
If nature had taken its course? Though mere pawns in a wicked game, it’s safe to assume these individuals all had bright futures ahead of them. The Pickmans would have died peacefully in their sleep and the young boy wouldn’t have gotten olded and then Oldsmobiled.
Even before he became Soylent Green Andy would’ve been as mystified as the first studio test audiences for In the Mouth of Madness.