I hated school as a child. I hated it. I got really good grades, made plenty of friends, played well with others, but I still hated the ritual of going to school. The last days of summer vacation were always the worst days of the year. I’d literally watch television on the couch all day, because the less fun I had, the slower the time went. I didn’t even care if I wasn’t having fun; I was milking those schooless minutes for every ounce they were worth.

I still get a twinge of nausea in my gut when I see ‘Back to School’ ads at the local Target, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end when I start seeing school buses moving in force down the street. I haven’t had to really deal with the end of the summer vacation since I left high school ten long years ago (I went to a tech college after), but the feelings are still there, and today they wash over me with the weight of an ocean. For all intents and purposes summer break is now over, and I’ve taken to self-pity at such a powerful frequency it could shatter a crystal wine glass.

In the literal sense I’m back at work for the long haul after two months of random days off. My annual road trip to Chicago is long gone, as is my birthday, the 4th of July, and any other reason to host a back yard bar-be-que. Not helping matters is the fact that I just stuck my girlfriend on a plane for Japan, where she’ll be living for the next year, and the fact that I’ve got a close friend in the hospital. But these aren’t the reasons for this rambling post – my entertainment fix has also hit the wall.

Basically my summer movie list included a few entertainment only items, starting with Iron Man and culminating with The Dark Knight. I’ll probably go see a few more in theater flicks before the summer’s through, but I’ve got a feeling that the ‘fun’ part of my movie going year is through, at least until Christmas. I guess Midnight Meat Train, Mirrors and Pineapple Express look good enough, and I’ll end up seeing Clone Wars because I’m still that guy, but it still feels like all those heartwarming cartoons and plot heavy superhero movies are done, and thus summer is done.

And the television front is even worse. I’m not much of a series watcher, I usually veg out with random historical or natural documentaries, or cartoons. My two live actions series, Breaking Bad and Dirt, have been MIA for months. The one show I was most excited about coming to a climax is now officially over, forever, as of last weekend. I’m talking about an American made Anime for children called Avatar: The Last Airbender, and I don’t care how much shit I get for loving it. But now it’s over. Forever. Thank God for new episodes of Venture Bros. and Mad Men or I might have to start fan-fic-ing. And then I’d have to kill myself.

So what’s left for me? An entire month of apathy, sitting and staring without looking forward to anything? Picking up a, gulp, book for a change? Oh God, it feels like the first day of school again – that terrible day when time freezes, and the future looks like an empty bucket set next to a pile of text books that were published in the early 1960s. Soldier through, sally forth, and hold your breath for September 12th, Gabe.