Ok, not really his day, persay, but I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a blog about the idea of Tarantino-ing someone’s career. And who I would choose to do that to, should I be granted the funds to do so. And when I read that bit about his Inglorious Bastards interview, I decided that today was the day.
This will likely become a returning feature, so check back when you can, or don’t, like I give a fuck. What the fuck have you done lately? Fucking drone. But no, seriously, come back for more of my mind selections of people who need a career resurrection.
Starting with: Chevy Chase.
There are many other people I wish to have back in my life in a major way. And people that are still there but need to get refocused on what made them good in the first place (I’m looking at you, Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers). And then there’s Chevy Chase.
Now I understand that in the opinions of many people, the man has made two, maybe three good films. Those being Caddyshack and Fletch. The third possible inclusion would be the first National Lampoon’s Vacation film.
But I say fuck you to those people. I watch Christmas Vacation every year at Christmas, have a gaping hole in my heart for European Vacation and even dropped a reference (one that was missed by all in hearing range, mind you) to Vegas Vacation the other day.
And let’s not stop with the Vacation series, why not plow right on through Funny Farm, Memoirs of an Invisible Man, Nothing But Trouble, Foul Play, Spies Like Us and Three Amigos. Love ‘em. Mmm, them’s some good movie watching, let me tell you. On a sick day, I’d watch all those films in one sitting. Easily. And I wouldn’t want to take a sock full of soap to my groin once.
Norm MacDonald once tried to resuscitate the man’s flagging career by casting him in the Bob Saget opus Dirty Work, but no dice. It may have been due to the film sinking not only Norm’s career, but also Artie Lange’s, and that’s to say nothing of it having sent Chris Farley spiraling into an early grave. But that may be a bit harsh. Especially coming from a person that sincerely wishes he could own a copy of that fine film. Plus, that film he did with Matthew Perry pretty much claimed the last two coffin nails. But, in the least, we can arrive at the conclusion that the fellow SNL alum’s valid attempt did not work out. And then came Snow Day. And Funny Money.
So what if the guy is supposed to be one of the bigger cunts working in showbiz? If he left SNL after one season and told the other cast mates to bugger off? If he snorted enough coke to kill Chris Farley and John Belushi? Doesn’t he deserve a second (or fourth, maybe fifth) chance?
But shit, like we care about assholes. Paris Hilton’s famous, for fuck sake. And Lindsey Lohan’s rotting crotch is still consuming celluloid, so let’s be fair to the Chev-ster. After all, who doesn’t want this man’s presence back in their big screen comedies?
Justin Long may be able to imitate some of the quick delivery, and Zach Braff (or Jason Lee) may be in the works to revisit the man’s Fletch greatness, but none of them can bring back the sheer cocky, asshole-ness that Chevy can provide. So please, hear a brother out and give the world that valiant return Mr. Chase so (well, maybe) deserves. Or don’t, and then someday I might. If he’s still alive by then, cause, you know, he did A LOT of blow after all.