Why Your IT Group Sucks

Do you work for a company that has an IT department, or even just a person that is responsible for the IT functions of your business? Do you feel like they perform the functions they are supposed to effectively and efficiently? Maybe you think they are a bunch of megalomaniacal idiots?

If the latter applies you, you are not alone. I have been called upon to review business practices, personnel and to put it bluntly, figure out which jack-off needs to be fired. I have worked with  thousands of IT workers in dozens of companies. The number of trained chimps running around pretending to be IT professionals is astounding. I have wondered many times where these people came from and how they had the credentials to be hired for any IT position. Then one day I broke down and was watching TV and not skipping through the commercials and saw it.

Apparently the current crop of IT pros is being recruited from McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s and Jack in the Box. This explains the lack of creativity, interpersonal skills and propensity for tyranny. Don’t get me wrong I believe that everyone deserves the opportunity to succeed, but how often does a veteran of saying “would you like fries with that?” actually have what it takes to make it in the executive boardroom, let alone handle the myriad of concerns that confront IT departments each day?  My experience at fast food joints is that most of these folks have a hard enough time trying to find the button for combo meal number 4. But for some reason these people are being courted to begin handling situations that can put a multi-million dollar company in the shitter. Deciding which meat patty is going to sell well in their store is too much for them, but picking out which corporate groupware package s going to save millions is right up their alley?

So before you lose your temper in the drive thru because they can’t get your order for a Big Mac and Large Tea straight, after they get their degree from Bumble-Fuck Technical Institute, this may be the next Chief Technology Officer for your company.