In my younger days (3 months ago), I used to enjoy the company of friends, alcohol, and a matinee ticket. We branded this type of outing, ‘E&J & the Movies’. Clearly, we were working with limited funds. E&J is one of those alcohols you discover in high school. It has a relatively low cost, but high potential for total annihilation of 4-6 people. It requires no complex mixers and doesn’t even have to be served cold. Straight out of a lukewarm bottle, or mixed in a cup with ice and soda. You’d be on your way to teenage pregnancy in no time! I know there are many equivalent low-class alcohol choices, such as MD 20/20 (the drink of criminals), Thunderbird (we weren’t homeless), Boones Farm (girl drink), or Malt Liquor (Olympic quality sprint to urinal), but E&J always felt right when it was time to watch a flick.
Now keep in mind, we were not the ‘crying baby ‘in the theatre (see blog #1) on these outings. We were even half-way respectable in choosing the times for these visits. It was either the first afternoon showing on a Saturday, or an evening showing during the week. Going during the week was preferred since:
1) You would have the theatre to yourself.
2) We had no qualms in being slightly hung over at work the next day.
3) We preferred being slightly hung over at work the next day.
Also, movie choice was critical. B movies were preferred since the plot was not complicated to follow, and you could somewhat remember them the next day. Anything having to do with invading aliens, a giant bug infestation, or fire-breathing dragons automatically warranted a viewing. We once made the mistake of watching The Bourne Identity, and the only conversation we could have later about it was “Did you see Matt Damon jump off the stairwell, using that body as a shield, while shooting the other guy? That was awesome!” Which is really sad when you consider that scene was in the trailer as well.
Horror flicks were tailor made for E&J. Would you believe House of a Thousand Corpses actually has a plot you can follow while inebriated? I’ve watched the movie completely sober and said aloud, “How is this not Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Why is no one suing anybody right now?” It has some great gore and violence, but it just kind of hangs around like a legless pedophile. Forever trying to touch you in all the right spots, but just doesn’t posses the reach needed. However on an E&J night, I thought it was a horror masterpiece! I was ready to buy a Dr. Satan figure when I left the theater and plan out my next Halloween costume around him. I guess you could say E&J would ‘slightly’ impair your judgment skills.
Regardless of impaired judgment, some of my best movie going experiences were shared with friends, a bottle of E&J, and an empty movie theatre. I think that is probably what heaven would be like.