I want Mummy 3 to make a heap of money.

I want it to succeed in a big way. This has nothing to do
with my feelings for the series, any of the cast, nor the crew. I honestly
don’t even care if it’s absolute rubbish, so long as it does well.

It’s because I’m writing a script called ‘It’s a Trap!’, an
action adventure film that follows three thieves in 1880 breaking into a
mansion only to find that the owner has employed seven monsters as guards to
protect his wealth.

The action-adventure film has been rockin’ the shit outta
the box office for a while now. Granted there aren’t many, but these things
cost money. The Indiana Jones trilogy, the Mummy series, followed by Pirates of
the Caribbean, National Treasure and coming
full cycle this year with the return of Indiana Jones, there is a lot to
suggest that people like this stuff. If they like it enough, a franchise can be
built out of it.

Pirates is finished, for now. There will be another National
Treasure. Indiana, well I’m not sure where it’s going.
What is important is that Van Helsing isn’t being picked up for sequels, Sahara is the same. Some-one out there is looking for a
new franchise, they always are.

The Mummy is about to try another go at success. If it works, then it
only re-enforces the idea that big dumb fun is a safe bet in the minds
of producers. That’s what ‘It’s a Trap!’ is. A conscious effort to write a
franchise starter.

Initially the story contained a lot more risqué elements,
more oddities, heavier themes. Lesbian witches, that sort of thing.  And so I had to take a step back. There’s no
point in me spending a few hundred hours on something I think is ‘cool.’ That
is what Richard Kelly does/did. I have to write something profitable.

And so, my first baby, ‘It’s a Trap’ is an effort at setting
up a new franchise. The characters, the tone, the humour, actions sequences are
essentially my response to the adventure franchises of the past. I don’t
necessarily like all of the films mentioned above, but they are all crucial in
the crafting of this screenplay. I need an awareness of what has done well in
this genre, to understand the mechanics behind these films and how they possess
the ability to snowball into something a shitload of people go see.

 

It sounds ambitious coming from someone who writes from
their couch in a medium sized city in Australia. But it’s not. The only I
need is a video store account. The problems arise when it comes to getting the
screenplay in front of the right people, who need to be in the right mood at
the time. Once you realize the actual likelihood of a script from an
un-represented writer being read by the right people within studios with the
kind of money able to produce such a film…then it becomes ambitious.
Ambitious and unlikely in equal parts. But that’s the kind of the point of
coming over there.

I honestly think I have a better chance of getting an option
or sale on this film out of the other two I’m writing (teen film and thriller)
I will be pitching like crazy once I reach LA. This thing has the potential to
print money. It doesn’t even have to be good, so long as you whack Will Smith’s
head all over the promotions. SOLD!

But it is good. I haven’t watched Van Helsing four times
because I like it. I do so to understand why it was awful.

I’ll write my indie feminist critique of the pornography
industry when I can live comfortably as a writer. Until then I’m relying on,
formula, trends, and the buying confidence that will stem from Mummy 3 becoming
a certified blockbuster.

Go Brendan Fraser you wig-wearing motherfucka you!