Wow. The Perfect Storm is on TNT tonight and holy shit. This movie is a gigantic land-fill worthy pile of slimy AIDS dicks. Even though, as I’ve pointed out before, Diane Lane is again as fuckable as a nine year old boy (with lube), trapped in a maze inside the Vatican… 

But christ, this movie sucks. Everything about it sucks. As you can see from my picture, I’m a huge fan of beards.. therefore, I ask this query: Who the fuck told Walberg he was out of puberty, it’s like that one jackass skit when they all shave their pubes and fool Dicamillo to glue them on his his face and pretend to be a terrorist. Apparently somebody convinced Marky Mark to do the same thing and pretend to be an actor. Christ.

And jesus christ on a rubber crutch, do all fisherman have to wear crappy flannel? Is it policy that, in order to be a badass Discovery-channel-tough-fisherman-getting-fucked-in-the-ass-by-earth  guy you have to have no taste in clothes or even a semblance of modern style/trend? I can’t believe JOn C. Reily slummed and crummed this bitch. Goddamnit.

Why am I watching this again? Oh yeah, Marky Mark and George Clooney die. And there’s Diane Lane…slurp.