think we all need at least one really nice positive thing about the
entertainment business every single day of the year, including weekends.
Sometimes it may be something simple, like a video that showcases
something fun and sometimes it may be a movie poster that embraces the
aesthetic we all want Hollywood to aspire to. Sometimes it may be a
long-winded diatribe. Sometimes it’ll be from the staff and extended
family of CHUD.com. Maybe even you readers can get in on it. So, take
this to the bank. Every day, you will get a little bit of positivity
from one column a day here. Take it with you. Maybe it’ll help you
through a bad day or give folks some fun things to hunt down in their
busy celluloid digesting day.
By Nick Nunziata (Author Page, Facebook Page, Twitter Page)
What I’m Thankful For:
Mall Visits With the Little Man.
Where on Earth did the Scooby Doo toy manufacturer get this idea for their spirit busting van?
Luckily it’s also amazing and one day I’ll be able to do that more once I actually SUCCEED in a way that I find befitting a gentleman. Rewarding. Tiring.
But Rocco loves to haul ass around the mall in the stroller and today being a rainy day and with my daughter’s birthday gifts still unpurchased it was time for a trip of shopping, bonding, and most of all… OBSERVATION.
Here’s how the day unfolded:
- 9:15am – Ancient mall walkers ache past me. This and pallbearing their peers weekly is their exercise. It’s good, but some of these folks forget that first and foremost malls are meant for commerce. It’s not the treadmill to Agrippa’s hangout.
- 9:22am – I am accosted by a Gypsy who runs a kiosk devoted to sea salts or fake hair or lotion make from pulverized spider pussy or whatever. I have a kid who is demanding my attention and I’m a hairy scummy man. What the fuck good do I need their enhancement materials for? I’m jacked up!
- 9:24am – A divine MILF saunters past, her every curve a delight. She’s also treated her visit to the mall like a photo shoot for a glamour magazine, which makes her a horror person. Why anyone would want to have sex with a high maintenance succubi like this blows my mind. Oh, and her kid is hideous. This tells me she married a rich man or Calibos.
- 9:28am – People at Apple store are waiting outside impatiently even though the store is still closed for a half hour and the Genius Bar is appointment based so there’s no real need to wait around. It’s not like they released a new phone or anything. It’s just a Wednesday. I’m a huge Apple whore but it pains me to see the other folks I have to share an affliction with.
- 9:40am – Starbucks may be Satan to many, but their protein plate breakfast is my favorite thing in town. Apple, a little cheese, grapes, and a mueslii biscuit hit the spot admirably. I wish I have 7 of these magically deposited in my fridge every week. And surprisingly, my coffee was good too. Rocco got and obliterated a pumpkin scone.
- 9:50am – Gamestop is open already! Jen is the manager there and I’ve followed her from store to store without knowing it. Picked up Monopoly Streets to review for CHUD’s ‘First Two Hours’ column.
- 10:11am – As Seen on TV Store is opening late. Which is sad because that store should open at NEVER sharp. Nightmare.
- 10:27am – Molester looking guy is in the toy store looking at dolls. I am not making this up. He shakes my hand and I look down and see his grandmother’s chloroform recipe on tattered legal paper in my mitt.
- 10:50am – We find shoes with sparkles AND unicorns on them. Daughter’s birthday a success before it even happens.
And all the while I had the best and cutest little companion a jerk could dream for. We played drums, shared snacks, walked the food court hand in hand, and were a perfect pair. Of course, one of us got to shit their pants. Not the right one.
I treasure these days even though they take my packed workload and insert oddly shaped painful objects in its ass…
…and for this I am very thankful.