I used to answer each and every odd and fun question posed on the
message
boards in the old days in these “Your Questions For” threads,
and
the results were often a lot of fun. Basically folks could ask me
anything
they want and I’d answer it honestly, jokingly, or with tons
of
snark. Either way it was fun and it helped to illustrate the
personality
of the site, the readers and their opinions, and answer
questions
for new readers who don’t know what makes the site tick, who
I am,
and why the fuck I am only five foot seven. So, I’ve resurrected
it!
It’d be great to run one of these a week, but that’s up to you! use
the
links at the bottom of the article to contribute.

Mattioli asks:

Yes, Nick, tell us: Are you in league with the ChiCom?



Nick
Answers:


Since I had to look it up to see what it meant… NOPE.


Princess Kate
asks:


If you’re allowed to post about it, I’d be love to learn more about what
you just mentioned in the GUESS DEVIN’S NEXT GIG thread where you said
CHUD receives checks from HK/PRC. Is that just some weird payroll system
you have, or does the site receive funding from foreign investors in
China?


Nick
Answers:




It’s not related to CHUD but the new site we’re starting up, which is related to CHUD but something new. That said, we are affiliated with a new company and at some point that’ll all be announced and all that jazz. But that’s been on for almost a year and as you can see CHUD is still CHUD and it’s actually going to be more CHUD that it was because of the CHUD and CHUD and CHUD.



Mike’s Pants asks:

1. Are you still taking reader contributions for “What I am thankful for?”

2. Will you be joing us in the first Chud Transformers: The Movie Watchalong?

3. Are you a cat person?

4. Do you like Chris Klein?

5. Are video games art?

6. Are you sure?

7. Will there ever be a point in human history where pornography will be as socially acceptable an interest as cricket or snooker?

8. Are you proud of Chud? You really should be.


Nick
Answers:


1. Yep. LINK.

2. I don’t think so.

3. I use the litterbox, so… I like cats and have had at least one continuously since I was twelve or so, but I’m sort of over them now. We adopted a stray recently and it’s fucked up the whole dynamic of the house. And their poop smells like the Hindenburg wreckage.

4. Nope, not even in the new ironic way people do based on his recent performance in the Street Fighter movie.

5. Just about anything can be art. I’d say there are quite a few games that have become art. Shadow of the Colossus. Okami. Sure video games are art, or at least have the ability to transcend. Very few arts allow the audience to participate in the art and that’s an exciting future if it evolves.

6. I’m not sure about anything anymore.

7. I hope not.

8. I am very proud. Days like today test that but yes.



Episode 29 asks:

Have you seen the wonder that is SHARK ATTACK 3: MEGALODON?

What are your thoughts on it?

Where do you stand on the whole (nonexistant) Joe Dante’s PIRANHA vs. James Cameron’s PIRANHA 2: THE SPAWNING debate?

What do you think of Legendary Pictures’ announcement that the new GODZILLA film will aim for a DARK KNIGHT/BATMAN BEGINS tone and feel?

Follow-up: Which monster would you like to see the Big Green Guy take on in the new flick?

Will there ever be a remotely convincing CG Hulk?

Which B (or C) level Marvel character would you next like to see adapted to the screen and why? .



Nick Answers:

I have.

It’s dogshit, funny or not. It’s balls.

The first one is kind of boring. The other one has winged piranhas. No brainer.

I laugh at it, because Godzilla is the easiest thing to not fuck up but people seem hellbent on finding ways.

Of the existing pantheon Ghidrah’s the biggie but he looks so silly. I am a big Destroyah fan.

I liked the first one a lot. I like them both a lot. I don’t mind the way CGI Hulk action is evolving.

We need less Marvel movies not more… but I’d be intrigued with a Devil Dinosaur flick.


The Lucas asks:


What movie have you watch recently on home video that you really liked?



Same question as above but really didn’t like.




We need to know, have you watch The White Ribbon yet and did you like it?


Nick
Answers:



Leaves of Grass with Edward Norton. My review will be up on Friday.

I’m 20 minutes in Human Centipede and don’t see the appeal yet.

I haven’t. I see so little for pleasure, it hurts. I spend so much time doing stuff for work by the time I get home I wanna watch the ballgame or read a book. I will make it my Movie of the Day next week. SOLVED.


Matt Hindmarch asks:

http://www.beautyofnewyork.com/shopp…0207KW1253.htm



Whale Sperm Shampoo




A job Americans just won’t do?




“Esperma de Ballena”


Nick Answers:



The link is dead… but I get the gist. Gross! Reminds me of that Nip/Tuck arc.


Nabster asks:


1.) Whats your favorite film of the year so far?



2.) After Don’t Be Afraid the Dark, what is next?



3.) Where’s the fantasticfest coverage?



4.) Who are some current actors you despise?



5.) Did you like Youth in Revolt?



6.) Channing Tatum should not be working in movies, agree?



7.) As horrible as Mel Gibson is as a person, don’t you think his awesomeness as an actor should still allow him to work?



8.) Would you rather watch a Uwe Boll or Sex and City film?



Nick
Answers:




1. I don’t know. I really don’t. Nothing makes my heart go a-putter.

2. Probably the TV show we’re working on.

3. Um… funny story about that…

4. Russell Brand. John Rhys-Meyers. Robert Pattinson.

5. Didn’t see it.

6. I don’t mind him.

7. Is he that awesome? I don’t see it much. His last good role was Signs.

8. Sex and the City.

Hunter Tarantino asks:

1. Favorite Wire character and season?

2. Worst and/or cheesiest sitcom of all time?


3. You mentioned
Bad Dreams in a recent Movie of the Day. Your opinion on this (my opinion) underrated gem?

4.
They Live, are you a fan?

5. Are you digging
Sons of Anarchy so far this season?


Nick
Answers:



1. Lester Freamon. They’re all great but probably 3 or 4.
2. I have wisely avoid almost all sitcoms. I always had a huge hated from Home Improvement for some reason but there’s so many to pick from.
3. I hate it.
I am a fan but I don’t hold it nearly as high in Carpenter’s pantheon as some. It’s a very flawed, weird movie.
5. Not much. I planned to write about it and got sidetracked and didn’t want to be negative towards I show I champion and really want the best for.


Mr Stroke asks:

1-Are you rich?




2-What is your favorite time travel movie?




3-Have you ever participated in a threesome?




4-Whats the most amount of movies you have watched in one day?



Nick Answers:

1-Not even remotely so.

2-Time After Time. Yes, including Back to the Future.

3-No, nor would I want to.

4-Probably six. I’ve watched near seasons of TV shows though. Which can become painful.


Schwartz asks:


As a former Stephen King fanatic, what’s your take on the status of the
Dark Tower adaptation? Is there any reason to be hopeful?



Nick Answers:



I don’t like The Dark Tower at all, though I have repeatedly tried to read it. Even the recent comics. So, I’m the wrong guy to ask.
 


Darkmite8 asks:


Do women belong in a men’s locker-room?



Nick
Answers:




Not especially, but they shouldn’t be bothered by misanthropic men if they happen to be in one either.

Erik Wacker asks:

What are the chances we see some more user created content up on the
site ala CHUD stories? Obviously we (your readership) are all a bunch
of lazy good-for-nothings and it’s tough to committ to making a feature
out of something like that when it’s entirely dependent on us shitty
people, but you’ve got such a large and diverse (and talented) group of
readers and I’d love to see more things from them.

Nick
Answers:



Unless I die in the next two weeks, 100%.


Barry Woodward asks:



1. Did the Scientology mafia gank Paul Thomas Anderson’s “The Master”?



2. What standalone films, that you know should never be sequelized, would like to see get sequels?



3. Would you be interested in another “South Park” musical film?



4. Ben Affleck said in an interview recently that he wants to direct a
Blade Runner-esque sci-fi film. Do you think he has what it takes?



5. Bruce Campbell and Nathan Fillion are staples of internet
fan-casting. What’s your opinion of them as actors and would you ever
consider casting them in one of your future projects (<cough>”The
Colony”</cough>)?



6. Are you bummed M. Night Shyamalan has apparently given up on sequels
to “Unbreakable” and plans to cannibalize those ideas for scripts he’ll
hand off to other directors?



7. What are some of your favorite graphic adventure games?



8. Would you be interested in a “Veronica Mars” film noir?



9. Which first name ruined by an evil historical figure would you like to reclaim and use for your future child?



10. Which TV shows canceled in their first seasons would you like to see get a second chance at life?



11. There’s a rumor Mel Gibson met with “Mad Men” creator Matthew Weiner
about guest-starring on the show next season. However unlikely it may
be, do you think hiring him would be a wise decision?



12. Which Denis Leary/Peter Tolan TV series do you prefer: “The Job” or “Rescue Me”?



13. Bryan Fuller (creator of “Dead Like Me”, “Pushing Daisies” and
“Wonderfalls”) wants to do a “Star Trek” TV series set in the J.J.
Abrams movie universe. Is that something you might be interested in?



14. With all the Tea Party nonsense nowadays, do you think it’s the right time for a “Meet John Doe” remake?



15. Which of the remaining “Grindhouse” trailers are you most excited to see made into films?



16. Which actor do you prefer: Michael Cera or Jesse Eisenberg?



17. Would a time travel film involving 9/11 be insensitive at this point?



18. Do you think “Eastbound & Down” seasons, with the right editing, could work as cohesive feature films?



19. What’s your opinion of Joss Whedon’s “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along
Blog” and what do you think about the possibility of the sequel
becoming a feature film?



20. Steve Carell plans to leave “The Office” after this season. Who would you pick to replace him?



21. Which of these Quentin Tarantino scripted films do you prefer: “True
Romance”, “Natural Born Killers” or “From Dusk Till Dawn”?



22. Tim Allen has been talking about making a return to television. What type of show would you like to see him in?



23. With the economy the way it is, do you think it’s time for another take on “Trading Places”?



24. What are your top five favorite South Korean films?



25. What’s your favorite Jason Reitman film and what’s your opinion of his career so far?



26. What’s your take on the rumor that Jon Hamm is being considered to
play Superman and do you think Christina Hendricks would make a decent
Lois Lane?



27. If you were to make a film musical, what would set it apart from all others?



28. If you could have multiple seasons of a HBO series written and
directed by Quentin Tarantino but in the meantime he’d have to put
aside his movie career, would the trade-off be worth it?



29. Which “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” spin-off would you have rather
seen: “Faith” – traveling the country on her motorcycle getting into
adventures or “Ripper” – a Giles-centric supernatural detective series
for the BBC?



30. What’s your opinion of Adult Swim’s “The Venture Bros.”?


Nick Answers:

1. They have the best lawyers in the business.

2. Anything with giant monsters.

3. No.

4. I do. Affleck is great.

5. I’m not a fan of fanboy wank casting, but I like Fillion a lot in the right roles but not carrying a big film. Fillion fits The Colony, if I ever send my latest rewrite to Steve amidst all my assorted daily tasks.

6. I don’t want him no more.

7. I don’t know what the definition is. If you mean stuff like Alan Wake and Heavy Rain, I haven’t played them
. Old school stuff, I loved the King’s Quest and Full Throttle/Sam & Max, Day of the Tentacle stuff.

8. Hell no. I’m not interested in a Veronica Mars anything.

9. Jesus.

10. Deadwood. Also, the Peter Berg show Wonderland.

11. Actually, that would be a nice role for him and one I’d accept.

12. I love them both for different reasons. It’s cool to say The Job, but I have found Rescue Me to be very special at times.

13. I don’t like any of his previous shows, so no.

14. I don’t no. We have so much media for this pro and con already, do we need any more?

15. Don’t.

16. Eisenberg, though I don’t lump them together.

17. I don’t care. Bring it!

18. Sure.

19. It didn’t interest me so I didn’t watch it.

20. Peter Serafinowicz.

21. True Romance.

22. Celebrity Autopsy.

23. Nope.

24. I haven’t seen enough to have a valid list, but I like most of the big famous ones I’ve seen though I thought Shiri was sorta crap.

25. Thank You For Smoking. I like his career a lot. He hasn’t made a bad movie yet, and though he’s had moments where he was kind of a douchebag in real life, he’s very gifted.

26. Both are wrong as hell.

27. I have an idea for a musical that I feel actually naturally lends itself to having music and song work alongside the narrative without a leap of faith.

28. Sure.

29. None of the above. I thought Wolfram/Hart would have been perfect for a series. A law firm managing the worlds of beasts and humans.

30. Never seen it.


Mr. Cellophane asks:


What are you most excited to bring to readers with the updated site?


Nick Answers:

Lucidity.


joeypants asks:

What do you feel are your biggest limitations as a writer and/or storyteller?



Nick
Answers:



I have some issues with focus. I tend to be more interested in exploring as I go rather than planning and plotting too much. Structure and I are not close friends. Sometimes I get too caught up in writing stuff that counters the norm without remembering that some things are the norm for a good reason. When it comes to site stuff, I write for me more than my audience and that burns me sometimes. But I don’t write for my peers, which I think is the worst. I have tons of limitations and have my own style for better or worse. As a result some folks will never dig my stuff.


matalo asks:


Question I meant to ask you before you published this latest list:



Would you rather a girl be 20 pounds overweight, or 20 lbs underweight?


Nick Answers:

Under, so I could crush her brittle form if she smarted off.

Casey Christiansen asks:


1. What are your thoughts on the movie Demon Wind?

2. Any chance the CHUD show becoming weekly or daily even?

3. Have you ever been to Idaho?

4. Craig Wasson’s penis vs Kevin Bacon’s penis who wins?

5. When was the last time you cried?

6. Does your wife and immediate family read CHUD?

7. What is the story behind your sometimes mentioned meeting with Victor Salva? I get the impression something creepy happened.


Nick Answers:

1. Great cover art!

2. Yes. Especially since Steve Murphy starts work here tomorrow. I’ll have that bitch pinned down.

3. Nope.

4. Bacon’s, because of its meaty name.

5. A very long time ago. I tried to when my dad died, but it’s just not my thing. I’m not tough, I just have a poor moisture to sadness ratio.

6. Nope.

7.It was creepy but no creepier than anything in Irreversible. I kid, I kid.

JGButler asks:


Even though I’ve been putting his face on shit for years, even I’m curious – who the hell is Uncle Mitch?


Nick Answers:

He is us. We are Legion. In reality I just always found the name Mitch hilarious and envisioned him to be a character who could say all the shit we want to but are prohibited to by society.

Chris Miller asks:


Your personal take for your last production deal? Dollars and cents. Hell yes I’m nosy.


Nick Answers:

After tax, enough to buy a 4 or 5 year old Ford Explorer or something similar. For a project that took 3 years to happen, that’s around 6k a year. I ain’t complaining but I ain’t buying new china sets either.

Renn Brown asks:


1) Would you do your best to trace the lineage of your unique sense of humor?



2) How specifically do you remember coming up with the idea for CHUD (and settling on the URL)?


Nick Answers:

1) Well I grew up in an open household with a lot of laughs and access to a lot of George Carlin and Redd Foxx albums. My father had a great sense of humor. A lot of people have said I have his sense of humor but I don’t. His stuff was more traditional dirty jokes kind of stuff. I don’t tell jokes well. What I find funny is different but I was a sponge growing up and since I love meanspirited stuff so much it lent itself to helping shaping me into someone who uses humor as a weapon and tool.

2) I just did it. It was completely unplanned, and only after spending time on it did I realize it was perfect for me.


Tati asks:



Any chance at all the latest promised release date of the new chud (september) will be met?

Will you NOT mention any new dates again and just let it happen from one day to the next one and surprise us all ?


Nick Answers:

A group of Chewers will be giving notes and interacting with the new CHUD by October 1st, but it’s going to be October until the really big step is taken but there is a site and a lot of people are doing good work on it.

I suck at surprises.







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