I used to answer each and every odd and fun question posed on the
message
boards in the old days in these “Your Questions For” threads,
and
the results were often a lot of fun. Basically folks could ask me
anything
they want and I’d answer it honestly, jokingly, or with tons
of
snark. Either way it was fun and it helped to illustrate the
personality
of the site, the readers and their opinions, and answer
questions
for new readers who don’t know what makes the site tick, who
I am,
and why the fuck I am only five foot seven. So, I’ve resurrected
it!
It’d be great to run one of these a week, but that’s up to you! use
the
links at the bottom of the article to contribute.

BTSMGL asks:

Last year you came to Puerto Rico the same week a bunch of web folks were doing a The Losers
set visit, but you said you weren’t in PR for the same reason. Assuming
it wasn’t for a personal reason, why’d you go? Research for an Alten
book? Is the Kraken gonna attack us in an upcoming book? Also, you
invited me over for drinks and I chickened out. Sorry!



P.S. I loved your “the streets of PR are Edward James Olmos’s face” comment from then.



Nick
Answers:


No, I was in P.R. for the set visit and the set visit alone. I may have stayed an extra day to gamble but that’s my business. The significance of that trip was that I flew in from Australia having been there as a producer for Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. It was extremely odd jumping from behind the scenes to covering a flick for the site. But common sense seeped in and I realized I was super small time so I did it proudly. And got to play blackjack with Jason Patric! Sorry we didn’t get to meet.



Barry Woodward asks:

1. Quentin Tarantino got to change the course of WWII with “Inglourious
Basterds”. What other historical event would you like to see go another
way in a film and what filmmaker would you like to see bring it to the
screen?




2. If James Cameron announced tomorrow he was returning to the
“Terminator” franchise working from a script he wrote with Gale Anne
Hurd that would ignore all but the first two films, would you be
excited?




3. What are your top five favorite John Cusack films?




4. Sylvester Stallone claims Paramount Pictures offered him a chance to
write, direct and star in “The Godfather, Part III” but he turned it
down out of respect for the first two films. Is that a film you would
have wanted to see more than what we eventually got?




5. Which cross-dressing comedy do you prefer: Billy Wilder’s “Some Like It Hot” or Sydney Pollack’s “Tootsie”?




6. Have you ever thought about creating a (Penn & Teller:
Bullshit!-esque) TV series based on “The Nation’s Punched!” for a cable
network?




7. Would you do a cameo for “Super Troopers 2″ or some other Broken Lizard project?




8. If Mel Gibson wanted to fund “11 Colonels ATTACK!” out of his own
pocket, as long as he had a role in it and could direct it, would you be
interested?




9. Would a comedy horror film about the Honolulu Cenobites baseball team battling an evil order of umpires appeal to you?




10. Do you have any plans to add to the “CHUD.com Essential Films Collection”?




11. What are your top five favorite movie musicals?




12. Which video games do you feel deserve film adaptations?




13. Would a low budget double feature directed by Edgar Wright (with fake trailers from Rodriguez and Tarantino) appeal to you?




14. What’s your opinion of the Swedish film “Show Me Love” (a.k.a.
“Fucking Åmål”)? If you haven’t seen it yet, stream it on Netflix.




15. If you were the executive producer of a “Fletch” TV series, who
would you choose as the head writer? Which actor would be your ideal
Fletch? Would you let Kevin Smith write and direct an episode?




16. At what age will you allow your children to see “Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark”?




17. Would you want to see a “Justified”/”Sons Of Anarchy” TV movie crossover written by Graham Yost and Kurt Sutter?




18. I know you’re a fan of “Them!” but have you ever considered making a
giant ant movie of your own? A film adaptation of the 1989 Amiga game
“It Came From The Desert” would be aces.
http://tinyurl.com/3ne6dq



19. Should the creative team behind “Eastbound & Down” try to bring
Kenny Powers to the big screen or should they stick to HBO?




20. If Sex Bob-Omb were a real band, would you be a fan?




21. If Sylvester Stallone decided to direct Eddie Murphy in “Axel
Foley”, a Beverly Hills Cop sequel not set in Beverly Hills, what would
be your reaction?




22. What’s your take on the backlash against Michael Cera and what
should he do career-wise to shake up people’s perceptions of him?


Nick
Answers:




1. Werner Herzog’s The Emancipation Proclamation.

2. Not in the least.

3. In no order: Gross Pointe Blank. Say Anything. Eight Men Out Out. The Grifters. Being John Malkovich.

4. I don’t mind the existing The Godfather III that much at all. Yeah, Sofia sucks in it and George Hamilton is no Bob Duvall. It still has plenty to like.

5. Fuck Tootsie.

6. Because that site was SO well received…

7. In a heartbeat. I’d do a cameo almost anywhere.

8. No.

9. No.

10. I think it might be something worth revisiting in 2011.

11. Though the definition is a loose one, in no order: Grease, Moulin Rouge!, The Little Mermaid, The King and I, and Funny Girl.

12. I was a part of a team that tried to make Jagged Alliance (we made a deal, I wrote a treatment and nothing came of it) so that’s there. X-Com. Shadowrun. Quite a few titles worth a damn. Please though… no zombie games. Nothing with zombies…

13. Sure.

14. I’ll check it out.

15. I’d hire a staff of people I thought were funny, no one famous. And I’d elect the one whose ideas are sharpest and fresh the head writer spot. In a perfect world, Ryan Reynolds. But the role can be done justice by many. I would POSSIBLY let Smith do an episode as a writer. Not as a director.

16. Thirteen or so.

17. Hell yeah.

18. I’ve actually written one with Steve Alten. It’s our most recent project and it’s actually in my to-do list (my latest rewrite) if I ever make some time in my dumb life.

19. Just HBO.

20. No.

21. I’d gladly cover it and buy a ticket.

22. I think it’s dumb. The guy’s in his very early 20’s for Christ’s sake. He’s achieved so much already. Let’s see how he grows up.






Evi asks:

Asked this in the pre-release, but figured I’d ask here too:



I know you’re credited as associate producer on Don’t Be Afraid Of The
Dark, but that can be a pretty broad term. I’m interested in knowing,
what exactly was your role in the production?


Nick
Answers:


My role took a lot of different forms and it evolved over the two+ year cycle of the film’s development. As is commonly known, I put Guillermo and Troy together. There were several drafts, some producers that came and went, there was a regime change, a lot of back and forth. I was there for all that. Ultimately, I was one of the group of people who did their best to serve as quality control and assist and protect Troy in his first gig. When you have Guillermo and Mark Johnson and Bill Horberg and Stephen Jones and Tom Williams and folks like that on set, there wasn’t much I could do aside from give my opinion and pay close attention to how they did their business. I’ve been very involved in the marketing and promotion of the film and has been able to participate in so many new parts of the business through it (test screenings, casting, set design, editing, all sorts of fun stuff) but still have so much to learn. I’m a baby, all told. What has surfaced is that I FIT. The studio people ‘get’ me now. I get them. I’ve made some great relationships thanks to this film and the folks involved and I have the best mentors a person could want. And the film’s better off with me too, I think.



Ken Savage asks:

Any chance of Ron coming back ever? I don’t care if I was thr only one I loved the hell out of it.



Nick Answers:

I wish. I don’t think the artist has the passion for doing a comic strip like that anymore, though I’d do it in a heartbeat. He does manga style, which I typically am not a fan of, but he can do anything. Who knows? Right now I seriously doubt it.


Disciple 72 asks:


Apart from Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, what other TV horror movies/shows are you a fan of?


Nick
Answers:



I love Trilogy of Terror and every anthology show. The Stephen King adaptations, as flawed as most of them are. I love that medium for horror and it seems it’s getting another shot.


Paul Allen asks:

If you had 10 minutes to speak to any filmmaker, living, dead or undead,
who would you choose and what would you want to discuss?


Nick Answers:



The dead filmmaker I’d like to talk to is the guy that directed Star Wars. I’d make some suggestions on if he’d perhaps balance his art and commerce a little differently.

.


Hunter Tarantino asks:


1. Favorite movie with Charles Bronson in the lead role?

2. Does 80’s music get as horrific as Don Johnson’s “Heartbeat”?

3. Worst video game adaptation of a movie?

4. How do I train my Drago?

5. You said recently you felt 3D was here to stay. Do you feel it will overtake 2D?

6. Better Eastwood effort that could be a Dirty Harry movie but isn’t: The Gauntlet or The Rookie?

7. Have you read Victor Gischler’s Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse? http://www.amazon.com/Go-Go-Girls-Ap…0783179&sr=8-1

8. Alien or Aliens?



Nick
Answers:




1. Weirdly enough, The Mechanic.
2. Yes. And there are thousands of examples.
3. It’s too easy, but E.T.’s up there.
4. With Grace Jones tied up and out of sight.
5. Nope, but it’s perfectly viable on its own. I have always disagreed with Devin on the matter.
6. I love The Rookie but it’s not a good movie.
7. No, Will Mason recommended it too and the local Borders and B&N’s all said it wasn’t in stock. I want to take a peek at it before buying it because the title seems too ‘cute’ for me but I trust Mr. Mason’s tastes.
8. Alien.
.

Cylon Baby asks:

Why, Nick? Why?!

Nick
Answers:



Because I saw Crimes of Passion at a very young age.


Hammerhead asks:

Will you tell me about the rabbits again? 

Nick Answers:

They did so much fuckin’… they changed the bloodline forever.


Anderson asks:

Any plans to bring back the Chewer Obits?


Nick Answers:



Do people still care? I’d give it a crack. They were fun to do.
.


MichaelM asks:


1. HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN: Unsung cult classic or unmitigated piece of shit?

2. Who would win in a fight – a big, strong guy or an invisible fat guy?

3. Is Kelly Brooks’ nude scene in PIRANHA 3D credible evidence of a benign deity?

4. What’s one film you hated on release but came to really enjoy or appreciate on subsequent viewings?



Nick
Answers:




1. The latter.
2. The former.
3. No, it’s credible evidence that Aja had a good time on set.
4. Eyes Wide Shut.

Eyeball Kid asks:

1. Mowing: do you do it yourself, or pay someone to do it for you? I
actually enjoy yard work. It gives me time to listen to a certain
podcast…


2. Flight or invisibility?


3. HALO Reach – any plans for some chewers-only online matches during
launch week? And what new feature (besides the Rocket Warthog) gets you
the most excited?


4. Worst contemporary internet meme?


5. Have you read this (
http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/08/ff_webrip/)? If it’s accurate, what does this mean for the long-term viability of not just Chud, but all movie-related websites?

Nick
Answers:



1. My wife does it. She kinda digs it and who am I to interfere?
2. Invisibility.
3. I’d be up for it, just so long as people play with the ‘Louie Puberson’ rules set we use (randon spawn weapons, recharging grenades, no radar) and don’t talk too much. I think that Forge World holds unlimited opportunities for fun and the one caveat the Halo experience has always been Bungie’s reluctance to allow the gamers a lot of power and flexibility to do what they want. All I care about is weapons and maps, and it looks like at least half of those are greatly improved here.
4. An internet meme itself is the embodiment of crap, but I really hate seeing anything followed by the word FAIL. Is that a meme? I’m old.
5. I have read that and it’s an interesting idea but the web is here to stay and I think we all evolve a little but I’m not worried about long term viability. Like anything else in life, the web is a people business. If you have good people, then things often work out.


TzuDohNihm asks:



Can we have Doug(Bob Clark) back, now?




Did Devin leave because I haven’t been able to give to the CHUD Paypal account?




Do you have any talent you are looking at taking on from the L.A. area to fill Devin’s shoes? If not, when will Renn be moving?




How many times do I need to go see
Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark to make it worth your while to get a Devin-caliber writer on board in L.A.? 


Nick Answers:

Have him contact me if he wants back.

Nope.

Devin is the last full-time CHUD employee we’re going to have in a satellite capacity for a while. We have a few really great part-time folks on the West Coast or scattered around but for a while if someone is going to be working for CHUD full-time I want them under one roof where not only can their productivity be maximized in a totally creative environment but also allow the site to be much more of a team than it ever has been before. Also, it’s very expensive to live in Los Angeles or New York and this site isn’t a money machine. We get by, but we need to get back to basics. I have come to believe that junkets and stuff don’t bear all that much exclusive fruit and for the stuff that I feel makes this site special are the things not geared around proximity to Hollywood.

How many times you see the movie isn’t going to wind up in my pocket anyway. It’s a really good flick, so see it multiple times on those grounds. One thing that’d help is that when our new site (not the new CHUD that is coming in September but the OTHER site launching in November) launches, you help make it launch BIG. That’ll give me a little muscle in budgets for CHUD.

Trejo asks:


If Cthulhu falls down in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does anyone still lose their mind to unspeakable madness?



Got anything you can blackmail Devin with to get him to finish the Rocky retrospect?



Who would you cast for your own EXPENDABLES?


Nick Answers:

God I hope so.

I think we’ll do it for him.

I wanted to crack a joke, but here’s what I’d do. I’d do The Expendables as a Western with Clint, Costner, Bridges, Quaid, Russell, Kilmer, Duvall, Tommy Lee, Brolin, Sheen, Estevez, Kiefer, and Giamatti and blow people’s planets through their asses with amazingness.

Don S. asks:

Nick,



With Devin leaving CHUD, you’ve already mentioned that you have a plan
in place with a list of contributors already set to pick up the slack.
Is there any chance you may still offer room for other folks who might
want to write for the site?



Nick
Answers:



I’m not HIRING new folks right now (aside from the folks I’ve already chosen), but I do want to allow for more voices on the site if they’re good voices and contribute to the site. But I’m going to be pickier than I used to be.

If anyone is interested in doing so please don’t PM me on the boards. I rarely check that. Email nick@chud.com and make the subject line “I WANT TO WRITE” and tell me what you have in mind. What I don’t want is folks to review theatrical films. I always need DVD reviewers. I like having more news folks. We desperately need folks to do quick news bits from the world of comics, video games, and indie film. And I think we could stand to have some folks do specific boutique content like Iain does with indie movies and Dellamorte does with B.O. What is your pleasure sir?


Patrick Ripoll asks:


1. Favorite David Lynch movie?

2. Favorite Billy Wilder movie?

3. Favorite Spike Lee movie?

4. Favorite Richard Donner movie?


Nick Answers:

1. Blue Velvet.
2. Stalag 17.
3. 25th Hour.
4. Lethal Weapon.


Rourkefan asks:


-What the fuck is wrong with your fucking Braves. When are they going
to realize that their losers and lose? P.S. Fuck Chipper Jones. What
do you think of that?



-P.S. Favorite Eisler novel?


Nick Answers:

The Braves are just fine, and many of them know the proper usage of there, their, and they’re. Chipper’s great, albeit fragile.

Hard Rain, though I kept waiting for Randy Quaid to show up.

Rob Rocco asks:


What size softball glove do you use? Bat size?



Not slang…


Nick Answers:

I have a 27oz. bat most of the time. I have a Miken Recoil that I use for ASA and a 26oz. Easton Synergy Flex I use for USSSA. I don’t know my glove size other than the fact that it’s big for a middle infielder, which is what I am.

Fat Elvis asks:



1. Thoughts on the N.B.A. off season? You think the Miami Heat experiment is gonna work?



2. If they do an The Expendables 2, what past ‘Action star’ would u like to see show up?



3. Sly has done a few Q & A sessions with the AICN talkbackers–who
would be your dream celebrity to participate in something similar with
the CHUD MB posters?



4. Favorite older movie or band you’ve discovered/or become a fan of in the past year?



5. An odd one: favorite coffee brand and/or roast ?


Nick Answers:

1. It’ll be interesting and if they make the playoffs and don’t collapse under their own weight they could go far but Orlando is tough and the Celtics if healthy maybe have one more elite year in them. The Hawks… nah. I like them but they aren’t going to be better than they were last year.

2. Robert Z’dar.

3. Dream: Matt Damon. Other fun possibilities are Downey and comedy sensation Sinbad.

4. Movie: The Spirit of the Beehive. Music: Not old but I really dig The Raconteurs and I really didn’t want to.

5. My favorite chain is Caribou but I recently have lost a lot of love for their corporate decisions. I like strong coffee, so my tastes tend to favor espresso roasts or other hardcore flavors. When it comes to brands I am a huge fan of Rarecoffee.com for stuff, I have a Keurig machine at home that makes me very happy and Caribou’s French Roast and Obsidian blends are fantastic. I spend more money than I should at Greenmountaincoffee.com. Also, I love Mr. Speed from the Kiss Coffeehouse and the Maduro blend from Gurkha cigars.






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