Go by your local grocery store or Walmart today, and I just bet you will meet your Pusherman. Now I say this after finishing off a box of caramel delites, but don’t you agree your local girl scout is taking all the cash out of your wallet?

Everybody has their own favorite girl scout cookie, but I suffer the addiction to those caramel delites, the formerly-called samoas, the ones in the purple box. I think there are only 16 in a box, which is a crime in itself. But to have 9-year-olds on the corner knowing they have a grip on an entire community with their magical cookies makes them the pushers of today.

Now my wife bought two boxes of caramel delites, 1 box of thin mints and 1 box of some new cookie called Thanks-a-Lot (which is just another way of saying “you’ll be back.”) So as I sit here at my desk, I’m wondering if she has opened the other box yet, and how many is she eating. Those are my cookies! How dare she! I think I’m jonesing because I’ve been eating about 2 per meal for the last 3 days, and I ate out for lunch today, so I’m missing my fix.

So rather than continue this awful metaphor, let me just throw this out there: Saturday Nite Live, Funny or Die or somebody should do an A&E Intervention skit about Girl Scout Cookie addiction. Could be funny, eh?