I figured in addition to the large List of
Dumb
columns that run a couple of
times

a month it’d be good to give folks a
daily dose, since there’s
absolutely

no shortage of dumb shit out there in the world. Help keep
this
thing
going by sending your DUMBS to me
through THIS
LINK
.

Also,
please spread the word through your Tweets and Facebook and
MySpace

updates.

Though CHUD.com’s not for everyone, stuff like
this

is!
 
04/12 – If you’re going to eat
astronaut food, at least make sure it’s official.


Photo by Nick
Nunziata.


I probably would never eat beef stew
dinner in my life if I had a choice. It’s what I used to call ‘steel
worker food’ as a child. A bunch of shit in a pot served piping hot for
when you return home from a long day in the cold doing stuff with your
gloved hands. I was totally condescending. Totally ignorant. Yet it’s
true, I was prejudiced against steel worker food. Beef stew. The
argument for beef stew is that it sticks to your ribs. The argument
against that argument is that snot also would stick to your ribs.

But
toss the word ASTRONAUT in front of anything and it’s better. for
example.

ASTRONAUT
holocaust.
ASTRONAUT watermelon
slice.
ASTRONAUT kitten.

Shit,
you can even put the word last and it still takes a benign sentence
into the cosmos.

Newborn ASTRONAUT.
Gingerbread ASTRONAUT.
Quixodic ASTRONAUT.
Black ASTRONAUT.
Ripley’s
Believe it ASTRONAUT.

But OFFICIAL ASTRONAUT BEEF STEW SPACE
DINNER can change your life. It’s official. And as good as the word
astronaut is when combined with the culinary world it pales in
comparison to SPACE.

Space Dinner. Are you fucking me?
There is simply nothing dumber and as a result nothing greater.

Space
Dinner.