I love Star Wars yet I also hate it. 

The “idea” of Star Wars is always so much better than the reality of it.  

I’m like an abused spouse at this point with this particular genre of Science Fiction.  That said; I had VERY high hopes for this book by Joe Schreiber.

Zombies on a deserted Star Destroyer? Are you kidding me?  SOLD. Sign me up. Is there a movie? Possibly a video game tie in ? Here is my money . . . just take it!

But alas – I got halfway through the book and I will not be finishing it.

Once again, the Lucas machine has slapped me in the face and told me I was asking for it.  

Now I love the original trilogy. I don’t even care that teddy bears saved the universe. I can accept that. I also could care less whether or not Greedo shot first as long as he got shot.  My trouble with the galaxy far far away is that the whole galaxy is like twelve blocks long and wrought with coincidences that are contrived at best.

Anakin built C3P0, Greedo and Anakin had a fight when they were kids, Boba Fett’s “dad” is the clone on which every stormtrooper is based, Yoda and Chewbacca serve together in the clone wars . . . just stupid.   The original three movies suggested a huge canvas on which hundred’s of different tales could be unfolding – the prequels erased all of that and insisted that it was all small and interrelated to the badly told tale of an annoying kid who grows up to be a retard and almost burns to death after the longest most boring lightsaber battle in history. 

All of that aside – Death Troopers caught my imagination.  A horror novel in the Star Wars Universe. A story unlike all the other Star Wars Books that try to recreate the trilogy through the further boring adventures of the Skywalker family.

The book starts off with a crowded Imperial prison barge breaking down in deep space.  They dock with a deserted Star Destroyer and unwittingly bring a deadly virus back into their ship . . . Zombie madness ensues!
The characters are well drawn and immediately struck me as fairly original for a Star Wars novel. rather then getting some stand ins for Luke, Han and company, the prison barge feels fresh and full of character types we have not seen before in the Lucasverse. 

So I was really enjoying this original tale until the middle when the young doctor trying to get to the bottom of the outbreak scans the ship for lifeforms and finds two surivors in the solitary confinement wing . . . SPOILERS AHEAD. 

Literally. When the doctor bravely decides to let the two dangerous criminals out of confinement so that she might save them from certain death the book is spoiled for me. 

I was hooked up to this point. It was a really fun read to here. 

So she opens up solitary confinement and finds that the two horribly dangerous criminals are. . . no more warnings . . . here it comes . . . Han Solo and Chewbacca. 

I’m out.   No thanks.  I thought I was getting an original horror tale told in the Star Wars universe and instead I got reminded that the universe is 12 blocks long.  I don’t want to read a Han Solo vs. the Zombies book. 

If YOU read it and think I should reconsider please let me know.