Last night at Midnight I sat in the crowded “early nerd special” IMAX 3-D showing of Avatar.
First things first – if you are reading this you KNOW you’re going to see it so lets not play any games here. It’s not like you got here searching for articles on Kim Kardashian.
So since you are going anyway, I guess the best I can do is offer the following advice.
See it in IMAX and see it in 3D. The one thing about Avatar that lives up to the hype is the 3D. It’s so good you’ll forget you’re watching a 3D movie.
Is it amazing? Nope; but a lot of it is VERY cool and worth the extra cash for the premium ticket.
Some cool things about Avatar:
The aliens are considerably bigger than the humans – this was JARRING to see and as simple an idea as it seems – I don’t think I have EVER seen it done before. One of the Aliens attacks the humans way into the thrid act and it was awesome just to see him toss humans around like rag dolls.
The blue chick is HOT. Really. No fooling. I fear I will never recover from the nerd label that comes with that admission but if the blue chick was in another movie I would go see it. Serious. Put that digital blue chick in the next Meryl Streep/Alec Baldwin comedy and I am THERE. Put her in the next Sex and the City flick-God knows THAT movie would benefit from a hot chick of ANY color.
The vast majority of special effects do not appear to be special effects. Hey George Lucas – you should really see this.
Some not so cool things about Avatar.
It’s long. Too long. In length. I think the director was afraid we wouldn’t “get it” so he made sure to spell it out with a lot of tiny words. Trouble is; we’re not retarded (well most of us at least). Plus – we’ve already seen this movie when it was Dances with Wolves and we understand the message. Americans are bad. There you go. Americans – 0 / Hot blue Alien Chicks – 1
At one point the aliens (whose name escapes me – lets just call them the Cherokees.) regroup to get their forces from all over the planet together and put on battle tank tops and get mohawks (Just in case you forgot they were a metaphor for American Indians. Which they are.) So they run off and do all of this battle prep nonsense and you would imagine a month has gone by while they organize this. Nope. A day. One day. The narrator says that it has taken ONE DAY to do this. Wow. Clearly Obama is not in charge of THEIR troop ramp ups (rim shot).
The aliens – I’m sorry Blue Cherokee Indians – have fiber optic hair. I don’t mean it LOOKS like fiber optics – I mean it IS fiber optic. The connect their fiber hair to trees and horses and just about anything walking by and they are able to communicate via the global network. But one day the planets network becomes self aware . . . and the trees start to exterminate the blue indians . . wait- sorry wrong flick by that same director.
Okay last thing and this is very nit picky. There are 20,000 topless alien Indians in this flick. That’s 40,000 blue alien boobs. Not one nipple. Not one. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not some blue alien nipple pervert but after a while the conveinent placing of leaves and necklace beads seemed silly.
That’s all I got. It’s kinda cool – go see it.