Dear Supermarkets,
Can you PLEASE open up more registers?

-me

Dear NBA,
There are 29 teams other than the Lakers.

-me

Dear Teenagers of Today,
WTF is going on with you?

-me

Dear [adultswim],
Why must you continually green light shows that make absolutely no sense whatsoever?

-me

Dear Carl’s Jr,
How was I supposed to know you wouldn’t accept the internet coupon I printed off of your website?

-me

Dear McDonalds,
Why can’t the McRib be a permanent fixture?

-me

Dear Mtv,
In case you didn’t know, it stands for MUSIC TELEVISION.

-me