It is official: Bruno is out of the closet and the #1
movie of the weekend.  The film is an
ass-rape to the senses, “dick-out” comedy about an Austrian fashion reporter.  His antics take him all over the world, from
European fashion shows to the inner-heartland of America, and most unexpectedly
Ron Paul’s bedroom.  There are interviews
with celebrities and even a terrorist. 
He knows one thing:  To get famous
in the U.S.A., you have to be straight. 
Right Kevin Spacey?

            If Bruno accomplishes one single feat, it’s being the ONLY movie to make fun of straight, heterosexual males while hypnotizing them to watch near 90 minutes of homo-erotic acts.  In comparison, how many gay men/women would
pay hard-earned cash to see a movie that makes fun of homosexuals?  I guarantee many men walked out of this
movie over the weekend feeling a loss of innocence.  And why not? 
This movie contains the ONLY talking penis I have ever seen.  It was hilarious, but I could have lived a
peaceful life without it.

        As mentioned
before, this movie shows some truly intimate moments/acts that usually are
reserved for pornography.  For
example:  Bruno’s exercise bike comes
equipped with a dildo attachment.  At one
point, a naked Bruno fearlessly flirts with a pack of straight hunters whom
have loaded guns with them.  He also
channels the spirit of Milli (from Milli Vanilli) and proceeds to “fellate”
the ghost of the
late singer.   

             The movie contains a multitude of
shock-factor, sprinkled with scene’s that were obviously contrived by the
Cohen/Larry Charles camp.  Many reviews
focus on the talk-show/baby gag, and some focus on the Milan fashion-show
debacle.  My personal favorite was the scene
at the swinger party.  In an attempt to
become straight, Bruno decides to attend this party.  It consists of the most disgusting, backwoods
corn-pone shit-kickers I’ve ever seen. 
There’s a fantasy that swinger parties are a beautiful gathering of
sexually aesthetic people that join for indescribable pleasures.  Instead we see
mutton-chopped, over-weight gorillas in the act of humping.  It’s akin to the stone-age.  Cohen casually AND humorously interrupts,
making sure that everyone is fine and even saying to one couple while mid-fuck,
“you’re doing a good job.”


            There
are many artificial gags in Bruno,
which cheapens the film at times.  You
know that the Doves Of Peace aren’t a real band.  You know that Richard Bay is in on the talk
show joke.  The lack-luster scenes are good for laughs, but SOOOO obvious at times.  Nein nein Bruno!     

                 There is one legitimate question about Bruno:  Would it have been made if not for the success of Borat?  Investors stand to make money, which is the bottom line and reason why Cohen’s 20 foot tall, almost-naked penis is showing on IMAX screens this weekend.   

   Being a fan since the
H.B.O. years, I couldn’t imagine a Bruno
movie being any different than what we have seen.  In all its glorious artificiality, Bruno will
sashay its message of homo-erotic humor to America’s male population, whether they like it
OR not.