Two and a half months ago I was laid off. I never viewed it as a curse…I was too busy being BUSY to even let the thought sink in. While is was a giant self-esteem blow, I knew I had it coming. I was the newest hire in the sinking-ship industry that is print advertising. I cost the most to employ, so I was the first to go.
During my “extended vacation” or more bluntly “forced retirement”, my main concern was to NOT let my time go to waste. I wanted to learn while I had the time, write when I could, and just pick up and go like a vagabond gypsy traveler.
Last week I received the best/worst news: I got a job.
Why is this news bitter-sweet? For starters, when you fall into a routine of complacency, it tends to be fun. Not working allowed me to take trips, read MANY books, and really connect with my close friends. I also enrolled in school so I could continue educating myself. I took a film-editing course AND am learning how to speak German.
I liked freedom, and for once in my life I could live a fleeting existence.
On the other hand, my mind got bored. I wasn’t communicating with human beings on a face-to-face basis. I need that, honestly. I like people. (Tragic, I know.) When your “people time” is regulated so specifically, it really sucks. Random conversation is the bread and butter of life, and I missed it dearly.
There are only so many G-Chat conversations that you can have before your fingers started wearing down to stumps.
When all is said and done, I guess I’m just anxious about getting back into that “real world” mindset after hibernating so long. Am I up for the challenge? Will I succeed and make this job work for me? Will I impress my higher-ups? Will I be that “cool” guy that seems to get along with everyone? These are anxieties I constantly think about.
Sorry for being such a whiny bitch. I’m going to put my skirt back on now.
I’m fuckin in, you’re fuckin out – Kenny Powers