Now, Black Christmas did do some stuff right. I loved the number’s font in the flashbacks, and the first 1300 times eyes got eaten were pretty gross. It was over-the-top in a lot of the right ways and 80s-tastic. However, if you’re going to write a love letter to 80s slasher flicks, how could you forget to feature the surgically augmented ladies who were forever losing their tops in the most unfortunate circumstances? And the one nude shower scene doesn’t even count because it was a bad angle and I’ve seen more side-boob on an episode of Project Runway. Not that I watch that. And haggard old incestuous murding mother sex really doesn’t count. Not even a little bit. And don’t even get me started on the shockingly lax police standards for determining if a body’s dead enough to go in a body bag.

p.s. This week’s comic is a mite early as I will be on the road visiting my fans in Canada. If you want me to bring you back some poutine or something, just shoot me an email.