So Devin’s article this evening got me thinking about Robin. But what about him?
Let’s be honest, the character is largely terrible, serving as little more than a gay joke in modern times and will likely not figure largely, if at all, into Nolan’s “why so serious” Batman films (And while we’re at it, why so serious? The terrorism metaphor is numbed by this point in time, why even propose such a scheme for a superhero film?).
So let’s say, for poops and guffaws, if such a character were to enter the fray, silly as it may be, who should portray the fey boy wonder?
Here are my Top 5 Choices for Robin:
1. Jonah Hill. Mostly because every top five of mine involves his name somehow. Sequel to Zorro (again)? Why not Jonah Hill? The new Jack Ryan? Jonah Hill! Carrie Bradshaw in need of replacement? Jonah Hill!
2. Michael Cera (see number one).
3. Justin Long. He may be the Mac kid, but he’s also got chops. And he fucked Drew Barrymore, so he’s obviously good at being someone’s bitch.
4. Abe Vigoda. Mostly cause it would be incredible. Seriously, think about it. Abe Fucking Vigoda.
5. Jay Baruchel. Seriously. If we’re being realistic, this kid should be the boy wonder. Hands down. Unless my friend Babak Gharei-Tafti is available, in which case, use him. For real, the kid’s got chutzpah. Christopher Nolan, if you’re reading this, first off, hook a brother up, and secondly, give this Babak kid a look. His name may be Persian and scary but he’s the next big thing, trust me.
And that ends my plea. Which is mostly for my friend to take over the role of Robin, but also to help promote the good work being done by my boys in the comedy world. Just because they make you laugh doesn’t mean they’re out of consideration for an “oh so serious” role in a superhero flick. Fuck, Ledger’s whole career was a laugh up until he played the Joker, and not in a good way.
Runners Up: Ricky Gervias. Hugh Grant. Tom Cruise (obviously the gay aspects of his closeted self). Dev Patel (outsourcing much?). Fred Armisen ( he’s been ripping it up on SNL lately, for serious). McLovin (Does he have an actual name? Does it matter?). John Cusack (only if he talks to the camera).
And yours? Please, bring those suggestions to the table!
Who cares what you think? You do, obviously, so let’s hear it!