Whatzupwitu – Eddie Murphy feat. Michael Jackson

Link to the video!


Okay, I’m at a loss.  There are some things in this world that are so full of beauty and life.  A newborn child laughing for the first time, a young couple being married, a baby velociraptor being born in front of Sam Neil’s eyes.  These are moments the viewer will never forget.

And then there are things so odd, so disturbing, so unbelievable that it makes you question your loyalty to this civilization.  How can I live amongst a species that creates such a travesty?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you “Whatzupwitu”.

There are a lot of things I don’t understand about this video.  Firstly, why was it made in the first place?  Secondly, who chose the wardrobe?  And thirdly, why did Eddie Murphy think that he was some sort of musical messiah?  The Christ-like poses he strikes in this video are on par with of Jim Jones.

This video is animated as well.  Eddie and Michael find themselves in the clouds, dancing and singing.  There are flying hearts, flying music notes, flying peace signs.  In this magical sky world, all good things are given wings!

And let me make a suggestion to the Eddie Murphy of 1993.  Eddie, there are some pretty persistent rumors floating around that you are gay.  And that’s cool, be gay.  Come on out of that closet, I’ll still love Beverly Hills Cop.  But if you are trying to deny these rumors, perhaps you shouldn’t wear a tight wife beater, tight jeans, and goofy sunglasses.  And maybe you shouldn’t sing to Michael Jackson like you are seducing him.  Michael Jackson is not a shining beacon of heterosexuality.  A little more distance between your lips would probably help the “I’m not gay” argument.

And Michael.  My dear, dear Michael.  A choir of young children dancing and singing around you?  No, Michael, no.  Don’t use your mystical sky palace to confuse these children.  Let them be!  Stay out of their dance circle!  Stay away!

Overall, this video is just several minutes of the same thing: good friends singing to each other while a bunch of flying shit and children dance around.   It ends with Eddie clamping a (more-than-likely chloroform-soaked) hand over Michael, silencing this song forever.  And it couldn’t be soon enough.

I assume this collaboration was created to bring awareness to Eddie’s (second!) album, Love’s Alright, but now it rests in the halls of history as one of the oddest, creepiest things in existence.  Besides, we all knew about Love’s Alright anyway.  We all still cherish our copies, right?

Right?

I know it’s been said before, but Eddie Murphy really should have stuck with comedy.

Until The Nutty Professor 2.  That’s when he should have just called it all off.