It happened. I joined the cult of Twilight. It was an accident.
I have always been the kind of person who shuns popular media. Harry Potter makes me puke, Oprah’s book club is nauseating, Heroes and Lost pedestrian. I never give any of these things a chance, of course, because I am a tremendous snob.
I hold vampires near and dear to my heart. I always have. As a freshman in high school, I read a young adult vampire novel called “The Silver Kiss” by Annette Curtis Klause and was blown away. I wrote to her to express my love of the book, she wrote back, and for 15 years we have been pen pals. I take it very seriously. I even wear red shoelaces in my black converse because the vampire, Simon, in that novel did and I fell madly in love with him.
So when I heard about Twilight, I shrugged it off. Too mainstream, too popular. Then one of my best friends from high school, Ali, told me to read Twilight. Said it was a book written for me, that I would fall madly in love with Edward, the main vampire. Said he was as amazing as Simon. (My affinity for falling in love with fictional characters is nothing new). I didn’t take it seriously, but then saw Twilight on sale in Target for $8, said why not.
I’m not kidding when I say it is a cult. The books are like crack. It’s taken me a ridiculously short amount of time to finish all four books, over 2,000 pages altogether. I can’t put the fucking things down. I haven’t been this excited about a book in a long time, which is saying alot because I am a constant reader. I fell for Edward HARD.
And I can’t really explain what it is about the books, exactly. I don’t know if it’s because I am a woman and the books touch something deep inside that screams that I am not good enough, not special enough (as the main character, Bella, believes about herself). I’d like to think myself intelligent enough to be able to see into any sort of romantic true love brain washing the books may use.
But i’m not smart enough. I am a hopeless romantic, always have been. Convinced I would love passionately and die for love, if necessary. I know this blog will make all of the CHUD readers puke, and I apologize for that. But if you can get past the love story, there’s a great action story there too. And I think men could learn alot by reading these books. Edward is exactly what women want.
exactly.
And its not about being a vampire, or beautiful, or rich. It’s about making the woman feel like she is the most glorious thing in the world, and that you would give up immortality for her.
Im trying to help you guys get a piece of tail, alright?
But be careful and take this cult very very seriously.