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The motion picture studios send us vermillions of DVD releases for the purpose of review. More titles than you can shake a stick at, unless you have a lot of time and a particularly sturdy stick. Unlike most sites [and weirdly a source of nitpicking from some detractors who we’ve discovered are dumb and lonely asexual prick assholes], we review everything we’re sent. Even the gay vampire program Lair (from the makers of Dante’s Cove). We have a wide array of reviewers, all with functioning nervous systems and all ready to entertain YOU with their puns and prose. You. Are. Welcome.

DVD REVIEW: PIRATES OF SILICON VALLEY

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Home VideoMSRP: $19.98RATED: UnratedRUNNING TIME: 97 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: DVD-exclusive introduction by Noah Wyle The Pitch "It’s just like Pirates of the Caribbean except Bill Gates isn’t cursed and Steve Jobs doesn’t wear a corset." The Humans Noah Wyle, Anthony Michael Hall, Joey Slotnick and a bunch of Hollywood … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: LIBRARIAN, THE – QUEST FOR THE SPEAR

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: WarnerMSRP: $19.98RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 106 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:• Intro by Noah Wyle• Behind the Scenes• Special Effects Commentary• Stills Gallery The Pitch “It’s Indiana Jones and Men in Black tripping over each other in the dark!”The Humans Noah Wyle (ER), Kyle MacLachlan (Showgirls), Sonya Walger (CSI: NY), Jane Curtin (Coneheads), … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: PROPHECY, THE – FORSAKEN

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Buena Vista Home VideoMSRP: $29.99RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 75 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Audio commentary with director Joel Soisson and crew members• Trailers The Pitch “Let’s film one crappy sequel to The Prophecy without Walken, and then split it into two parts to maximize profits!” The Humans Kari Wuhrer sans breasts, … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: THUNDERCATS – SEASON 1, VOL. 1

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Home VideoMSRP: $64.92RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 276 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: Feel the Magic, Hear the Roar: Thundercats Fans Speak OutAside from the boilerplate Saturday morning cartoon orgy, which was good for many years, 1985 and 1986 were pretty good years to come home from school to catch cartoons: Transformers, G.I. … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: DEAD & BREAKFAST

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Anchor BayMSRP: $19.99RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 85 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:• Deleted scenes• Commentaries• Blooper reel• Photo gallery The Pitch “It’s Night of the Living Dead meets U-Turn!” The Humans Several attractive actors, some hillbillies, Diedrich Bader The Nutshell A group of dubious acquaintances are piled into an RV on a lengthy … Continue reading

THE SPECIAL EDITION – 9.12.05

There’s still a lot to be done, and I mentioned last week that you should think about donating your DVD funds for the week (or month/year/millennia) to one of the humanitarian causes on the ground (like The Red Cross) helping out those victims displaced by some of the most inhospitable conditions ever (created). It’s not … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: BEN-HUR (CE)

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Home VideoMSRP: $39.92RATED: GRUNNING TIME: 222 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Audio commentary by film historian T. Gene Hatcher w/ Charlton Heston• Music-only track• 1925 silent version from Turner Entertainment Co.• Ben-Hur: The Epic That Changed Cinema documentary• Ben-Hur: The Making of an Epic documentary• Ben-Hur: A Journey Through Pictures … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: MINDHUNTERS

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Buena Vista Home VideoMSRP: $29.99RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 106 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • A Director’s Walk Through Crimetown featurette• Audio commentary by director Renny Harlin• Profiling Mindhunters featurette• Stunt sequence A few years ago director Renny Harlin, the man behind award winning films like Cutthroat Island and A Nightmare on Elm … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: MY LEFT FOOT

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Buena Vista Home VideoMSRP: $19.99RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 103 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • An Inspirational Journey: The Making of My Left Foot• My Left Foot reviews• Still gallery• The Real Christy Brown featurette Making a biopic of someone who triumphed over adversity is tricky business. If you make it too focused … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: AMERICAN NINJA 4 & 5

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE AND HERE!STUDIO: Both Warner Home VideoMSRP: Both $14.96RATED: Both PG-13RUNNING TIME: Both 99 minutesSPECIAL FEATURES: Both have none. There are film franchises. Then there are film franchises that need no introduction. Folks, if you’re a regular reader of this site, you know what category American Ninja falls under. "…and … Continue reading