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The motion picture studios send us vermillions of DVD releases for the purpose of review. More titles than you can shake a stick at, unless you have a lot of time and a particularly sturdy stick. Unlike most sites [and weirdly a source of nitpicking from some detractors who we’ve discovered are dumb and lonely asexual prick assholes], we review everything we’re sent. Even the gay vampire program Lair (from the makers of Dante’s Cove). We have a wide array of reviewers, all with functioning nervous systems and all ready to entertain YOU with their puns and prose. You. Are. Welcome.

DVD REVIEW: NIGHT MOVES

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE! STUDIO: Warner Home VideoMSRP: $19.97RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 99 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Theatrical trailer• “The Day of the Director” featurette The Pitch "It’s Gene Hackman playing a quietly desperate investigator. Hey, it worked for Coppola and Friedkin!" The Humans Gene Hackman, Jennifer Warren, young James Woods, pubescent Melanie Griffith. The … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: HOSTAGE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: MiramaxMSRP: $29.99 RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 108 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:• Commentary• Featurette• Deleted scenes “You’re the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time.” That’s what someone told luckless cop John McClane the second time he found himself caught dead center in an unlikely confluence of perilous happenings. That … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: BATTLEFIELD BASEBALL

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Subversive CinemaMSRP: $29.95 RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 137 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Commentary• Deleted Scenes• Short Films• Music Video• 2 Documentaries• Trailers I like baseball. I like zombies. I like movies. How could this go wrong? no. The Flick I wanted to like this film, I really did. It seemed pretty cut … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: WOODLANDERS, THE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: MiramaxMSRP: $29.99RATED: PGRUNNING TIME: 95 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: None The Pitch "It’s like every other Victorian social drama, but Emma Thompson’s not involved with it." The Humans Rufus Sewell, Emily Woof, Polly Walker. The Nutshell Emily Woof is Grace Melbury, the daughter of a middle-class timber merchant on the moors … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: GRASS HARP, THE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: New Line Home EntertainmentPRICE: $19.97 RATED: PGRUNNING TIME: 107 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Trailers• Malware If you could somehow harness the starpower in The Grass Harp, you could light a full city block indefinitely. Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, Edward Furlong, Walter Matthau, Roddy McDowall, Jack Lemmon, Mary Steenburgen, Nell Carter… … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: CONFESSIONS OF AN AMERICAN BRIDE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Home VideoMSRP: $19.98RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 90 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Additional scenes• “A Look at Confessions of an American Bride” featurette The Pitch “Let’s get an actress known only for her breasts and throw her into a plot that forces her to choose between two generic male leads that … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: IMMORTAL

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: First Look MediaMSRP: $24.99RUNNING TIME: 102 min.RATED: RSPECIAL FEATURES:• Featurette • Trailers The Pitch “It’s Blade Runner with horny gods!” The Humans Thomas Kretschmann (Resident Evil: Apocalypse, The Karate Dog), Charlotte Rampling (Orca, Zardoz), Linda Hardy (Miss France) The Nutshell In the sleek New York of 2095, genetic manipulation … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: JAMES DEAN COLLECTION, THE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Bros.MSRP: $68.92 RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 430 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Documentaries• Rare Screen Tests• Wardrobe Tests• Additional Scenes• Premiere Footage• Photo Galleries• Giant – English Dolby Surround Stereo Note to Nick and Readers: I apologize for not getting this review posted sooner. A new house has taken up most of … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: TWICE IN A LIFETIME

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Home VideoMSRP: $19.97 RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 111 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: Commentary by director Bud Yorkin, Amy Madigan and Ann-Margret I often find that the unremarkable film is the hardest type of film to watch. A good film is obviously a lot of fun to watch, and a bad film … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: JIMI HENDRIX

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner BrothersMSRP: $19.98 RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 103 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Featurette: "From the Ukelele to the Strat"• Featurette: "The Making of Dolly Dagger"• Additional concert performance Here’s a revelation for you: Jimi Hendrix may not have been human. In that subset of humanity composed of musicians, he was revered by … Continue reading