Did you happen to see that disheveled, pantsless, cake-smeared individual doing the Charleston down Barham this morning? No, no, no… not Tim Conway. The other one who looked a little like Jim Carrey in the middle of a Martin Lawrence-scale meltdown. I’m pretty sure that was actually Jim Carrey. Kinda embarrassing, no? Perhaps. But if … Continue reading
Zach Helm’s Stranger Than Fiction has its defenders. That’s cool. Movies need defenders. I knew a guy in college who watched Psychos in Love every Valentine’s Day because he hated women, and, while this curious disposition either fixed itself or got him into some serious trouble later in life, the unabashed enjoyment he derived from … Continue reading
Just when it seems Jim Carrey is ready to reinvigorate his once again stalled career (that’s what you get for associating yourself with a film that bombed my inbox for a month with the most asinine promotional campaign since that Applebees ad with the two schmucks singing about seafood entrees to the tune of the … Continue reading
I have seen the future of horror, and it is Joe Borowski’s ERA. The Date of Dumb While we’re in the midst of celebrating the Great Geek Summer of 1982, let’s pause to remember which legendary picture earned the honor of debuting in the coveted July 4th slot that year. In a season chockfull of … Continue reading
If Hugh Jackman really "passed" on The Lovely Bones (and this does seem to be the case), then consider Ryan Gosling a major upgrade of a second choice. Don’t take this as a slight against Jackman; he’s a fine actor who just turned in the best performance of his career a year ago in The … Continue reading
***SPOILERS TO FOLLOW!!! TRANS-VIRGINS SHALL NOT PASS!!!*** Michael Bay’s giant fucking robots are here, and they are dead-set on destroying lots of property, so it’s fortunate that, in anticipation of the edifice-toppling third-act tilt, they’ve landed in Los Angeles, where great architecture is as disposable as a socialite’s virginity. The only drawback to Bay’s final … Continue reading
Michael Ondaatje, the Booker Prize winning author of The English Patient, is too obdurately non-linear in his storytelling to churn out a commercial adaptation of Hitchcock’s silent non-classic The Lodger, but, given the project’s pedigree, I’d rather see an intellectual with an adventurous sense of narrative take on the Jack the Ripper-esque yarn than some … Continue reading
Have you ever seen that Girls Town movie on MST3K featuring Mel Torme as a juvenile delinquent and Paul Anka cameoing as a choirboy who serenades a young harlot with the "Ave Maria"? I only ask because every time I hear the fucking "Ave Maria", I think of that movie. So color me impressed that … Continue reading
* Noted CHUD reader and Dodgers enthusiast Shia LaBeouf was dropping all kinds of hints at the Transformers junket about a project he was developing Steven Spielberg (or that Spielberg was developing for him whether he liked it or not – which would be kinda creepy and awesome if it were, like, a small-scale remake … Continue reading
This is something like my third update regarding Guy Ritchie’s RocknRolla, and I still have to reacquaint myself with the premise every time I write about it. Couple that with the fact that I never thought Ritchie was all that great to begin with, and you’ll understand why I’m down on this follow-up to the … Continue reading